Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Undoubtedly, life expectancy rate has increased over the last years, which has caused a debate among various nations. It is said that aging population causes issues for the government, however others advocate that there are benefits if a society has more elderly people. This essay focuses on whether merits outnumber the demerits or not.

To embark on, there are countless demerits if aging population lives longer. Firstly, younger generation's future would be at risk, as most of the job positions are occupied by the elder people, due to which younger people are unable to get jobs in both private as well as government sector. Moreover, higher pension costs, as government has to pay the pension for many years, which eventually empties the public money. Along with this, there are higher chances of getting chronic diseases if a person lives longer than expected. Increased life expectancy also put strain on resources as elderly people need care which stops the government to spend on schools and roads.

Conversely, regardless of demerits, some merits can also be taken into account. Firstly, older people get to spend more time with loved one as they can also teach life lessons to their grand children and inculcate some good habits as well as moral values in their grand children. The other point is personal fulfilment because they can pursue their hobbies and do the thing they love.

To conclude, there are multiple advantages and disadvantages of increased life expectancy, however disadvantages have more detrimental impacts on bit younger generation and the government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout, concluding that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While the disadvantages are supported with points like pension costs and healthcare strain, the advantages are underdeveloped. For instance, the mention of 'life lessons' and 'personal fulfilment' lacks depth or specific examples to fully justify the argument. The essay meets the minimum length requirement, but to reach a higher band, you should provide more detailed explanations and perhaps a more balanced exploration of the opposing view before refuting it.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'To embark on', 'Moreover', and 'Conversely' are used to guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical or repetitive, and the referencing is occasionally imprecise, such as the phrase 'the thing they love' which is vague. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the link between the introduction and the body paragraphs could be smoother to ensure a more cohesive flow of arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'life expectancy', 'chronic diseases', and 'detrimental impacts'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'life expectancy rate has increased' (life expectancy is a measure, not a rate) and 'stops the government to spend' (should be 'prevents the government from spending'). The vocabulary is functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Expanding your range to include more academic collocations would improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'the elder people' (should be 'the elderly'), 'pay the pension' (should be 'pay pensions'), and 'on bit younger generation' (missing article). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article errors throughout. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles would significantly enhance your accuracy.

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