Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The population in most of parts are divided into two parts: people who are living longer and fewer young people due to decline in birth rate. This situation create both pros and cons but having the older people more can outweigh negative impact in multiple sector.

On the one hand, having the aging population can be very expensive for both government and family. For example have age-related illness this impact in the health system because of need of resources which cost hefty of amount. If there is more old population there will be more the 30 year of retirement and government has to provide financial support such as schemas. There can be time one you have to constantly look after them because of there old age. Family has to take care of them and it can lead to burden for running household.

On the other hand, aging plan an significant role of society and country in term of economy growth and experience. They have worked for almost 50% years and run whole household by the hook or crock. As they work for this years they gain lot of wisdom, skills and experience. There are many older people who work for nation after retirement, such as doing charity work and supporting family. Grandparents often take care of their young grandchildren which make easy to work by parents.

In conclusion, it is true that they take up resources and retirement money by government and constantly observation can sometimes lead to burden to they children. However, having experience and benevolent people can help you in certain prespect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the economic burden and the benefits of wisdom, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the mention of 'schemas' and 'by the hook or crock' is vague and does not effectively support your point. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your arguments with more concrete illustrations, such as specific government policies or societal impacts, rather than relying on general statements. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the points raised in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' to signal shifts in your argument. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by awkward phrasing and mechanical transitions. For example, the sentence 'There can be time one you have to constantly look after them' is difficult to follow. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will help improve the overall cohesion of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on some repetitive or imprecise phrasing, such as 'cost hefty of amount' and 'by the hook or crock' (which is an incorrect idiom). There are also issues with word choice, such as 'aging plan an significant role' instead of 'aging plays a significant role'. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more academic vocabulary. Avoid informal or incorrect idiomatic expressions and aim for more precise terminology when discussing economic or social issues.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('This situation create'), article usage ('in the health system'), and awkward sentence construction ('having the older people more can outweigh negative impact'). While your meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your sentence structures are grammatically sound before attempting more complex forms.

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