Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In several countries, it it seems that now the life of currently era of people is longer than the era before. Some people gave their argument that governments faces issues if society has more older persons but some give opposite opinion that elderly people are benefit for the society.
On one hand those who have opinion that elderly people creates problem for government says that if society has more elder person then there are less chances that government should give their rights as there are less resources then the population. So it is a business term that why demand is more than supply then everyone faces difficullties and also not evryone gets their demands so they gr themselves and take part in their country development.
On other hand who believe that elderly people are benefit for society think that young people are the main power of every country because in every country we see that whole country's present and future are in young people hands. All professions consist of young people and that's means youple are the assists of the country. If we countru have more young people then government needs to give them opportunities so they also play their role in developing their country. Young person has more potential then any other so if we use his potential for his country then one day he must prove himself. For example if you see in history every development that may be in term of science, technology or anyother you see the young person is behind this whole project.
So in my opinion more young person are benefit for the society as they have chances to play major role in developing their country if government give them opportunity.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to address the prompt effectively. The task asks for a discussion on the aging population, but the student spends the majority of the essay discussing the benefits of young people instead. This is a significant misunderstanding of the topic. While the student attempts to present a position, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack logical connection to the specific issue of an aging population. The essay does not provide a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of an aging society as requested, but rather shifts the focus entirely to the youth, which results in a failure to fully address the core requirements of the task.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is weak. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and sometimes incorrect way, such as 'On one hand' and 'On other hand', which do not accurately introduce the two sides of the aging population debate. The referencing is often unclear, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. While there is a basic attempt at paragraphing, the internal logic within the paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument clearly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, which restricts the ability to convey complex ideas. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'elderly people are benefit for the society' instead of 'beneficial', and 'young people are the assists of the country' instead of 'assets'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to discuss the topic with any degree of precision or sophistication. Basic errors in word formation and usage are persistent throughout the text, which occasionally impedes the reader's understanding of the intended meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect clarity. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'elderly people creates problem'), article usage, and sentence structure. The student relies on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences often result in errors, such as 'that's means youple are the assists'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, and there are several spelling errors (e.g., 'difficullties', 'evryone', 'countru'). The frequency of these errors is high, and they occur throughout the response, which significantly impacts the overall quality of the writing.
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