Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
IN this world where many countries , people are living longer than ever before because they care their body and their mental health while some people say aging population creates problems for governments and other think that they are benifical as we are looking and dicusssing the facts depends on the different countries happened.
The advantages of having the old people in our society helps the people for their ideas and the working of development as we can say that the problem sloving., morever when you see a old aging people having in a family they make the better dicisions for their featurs they have become fully mature and they had a lot of experiance throughout gaining his life eg are the father and the grand pa when a family has to decide something they firstly told these men what to do what not.
On the other hand when we see the disadvantages of having aging population reduces the birth of a countary which is the most important thing for any countary economic growth, military capability, an d aslo develops a key role, in olympics games like fotball, cricket
and other feilds of the contray development exemples , the japan where most of the aging people lives due to load of offic pressure they forget to get married and the result is dropping the birth rate of their countary.
In Conclusion the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages will be belived that the development for any countary in this world.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response attempts to address the prompt but fails to provide a clear, consistent position. While the conclusion states that advantages outweigh disadvantages, the body paragraphs are disjointed and lack depth. The arguments regarding the benefits of the elderly (wisdom/decision-making) and the drawbacks (economic/birth rate) are underdeveloped and rely on anecdotal or unclear examples. The connection between an aging population and sports performance or military capability is not logically explained, making the argument difficult to follow. To improve, you must ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-supported idea that directly answers the 'to what extent' aspect of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. Paragraphing is present but the internal flow of ideas is weak. Cohesive devices are used in a very mechanical and sometimes incorrect way, such as the awkward transition 'as we are looking and dicusssing the facts'. The referencing is often unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between 'problem solving' and the following sentence is disjointed. The essay lacks a logical progression of ideas, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument from start to finish.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often inaccurate, which frequently impedes communication. There are numerous spelling errors (e.g., 'benifical', 'dicusssing', 'sloving', 'experiance', 'countary', 'feilds'). The word choices are often simplistic or misused, such as 'care their body' instead of 'take care of their health' and 'load of offic pressure'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively, and the persistent spelling errors distract the reader significantly.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often obscure the intended meaning. Sentence structures are often run-on or fragmented, such as the opening sentence which is a long, unpunctuated string of clauses. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('a old aging people having in a family'), article usage, and tense consistency. Complex sentence structures are attempted but are almost always faulty, leading to a lack of clarity. Basic punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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