Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In comtemporary society, it has been seen that people now live long compared to the past. While people say the old ones are creating problems for the government, others champion the benefits of the older generation in the society. Although it can be an additional challenge to meet the various needs of the aged population, I completely agree that the aging population is advantageous to the society because of the experience they have acquired over the years and their past impact in the society. These points will be explained in the following paragraphs with examples followed by a logical conclusion.

To begin with, the old people have actually seen how the world works in their own way, therefore having them around with guarantee intelligent inputs into the affairs of the community. For example, those who lived when some type of innovation just began, they can advice on the things they witnessed and how to avoid making similar mistakes, they made previously. This inturn can prevent repetition of events that can cause harm.

Furthermore, most aged adults have in lots of ways contributed to the growth of the society, either through fighting for independence or peace keeping of the nation. It will be unfair to abandon them in their less vulnerable state. For example, the veterans who fought in various wars to help ensure independence of her country, they should be honored for their heroic service and adequately cared for in their old age, as a large number of them also loss their lives fighting.

In conclusion, although it can be a extra burden to the government in terms of caring for the needs of the elderly, it is an advantageous to consider their impact in the society and the ernomous wisdom they have acquired.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You acknowledge the challenges of an aging population while arguing that the benefits, specifically regarding wisdom and historical contribution, outweigh them. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument about 'innovation' is a bit vague and could have been supported with a more concrete example of how elderly mentorship actually functions in a modern workplace or community. The conclusion is also quite brief and merely restates the introduction rather than synthesizing the arguments. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Furthermore', and 'In conclusion' to signal the progression of your argument. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition between the idea of 'innovation' and 'avoiding mistakes' is slightly abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is unclear, such as the phrase 'her country' in the second body paragraph, which lacks a clear antecedent. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their subjects will help improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary society', 'vulnerable', and 'heroic service'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and minor errors, such as 'live long' instead of 'live longer', 'intelligent inputs' instead of 'valuable insights', and 'ernomous' (spelling error). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. To improve, focus on learning collocations—for example, instead of 'make inputs', use 'provide insights' or 'contribute expertise'. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic, topic-specific terminology would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'the old ones are creating' (should be 'the elderly'), 'they can advice' (should be 'they can advise'), and 'it is an advantageous' (should be 'it is advantageous'). There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement throughout the text. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your complex sentences are grammatically sound.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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