Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the period of modernity . many people are now expand their lifetime than before , but some people opine that it may causes problems for governments . Other people are thinking the opposite . I strongly agree that senior citizen is blessing for society and there has some benefits .
Firstly , Senior citizen are very experienced as compared to new generation so that new generation people can lean lots of things from them . Whenever some parents are very busy for their works , their children spends quality time with grandparents . Also , Elder people are trying to make people more unite in family as an umbrella
Secondly , Sometimes elder people are more religious rather than their children . So , they can help to understand them which is good or bad in life . In china , some aging people are making handcrafts or DIY simple items in their free times which contributes their economy . Also , The people who are very aged but physically stronger they can easily fill-up labour crisis in emergency times .
However , There are a few drawbacks regarding aging population . Some cases has shown that senior citizens who are physically weak , they are facing a lot of issues in daily life and there is no people around to them for helping . As a result , Nursing home demand and crisis is increasing rapidly .
To conclude , Senior citizens are good for society and there are lots of advantages , while some drawbacks but it can be prevented easily .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the point about elderly people contributing to the economy through handicrafts in China is a specific example, but it lacks a clear connection to the broader argument about government challenges. The position is clear, but the arguments are not fully extended or supported with sufficient depth. The conclusion is brief and does not effectively synthesize the main points. To improve, you should focus on expanding your supporting arguments with more detailed explanations or logical consequences.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'In the period of modernity' and 'Whenever some parents are very busy' feel slightly unnatural. The transition between ideas is sometimes abrupt, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the sentence 'they can help to understand them which is good or bad'. Improving the flow between sentences and using a wider variety of linking words would enhance the logical progression of your arguments.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'expand their lifetime' instead of 'live longer', and 'make people more unite' instead of 'foster unity'. Some terms are used repetitively, and there is a lack of less common lexical items. To achieve a higher score, focus on learning collocations and using more sophisticated vocabulary related to social and economic issues, while ensuring words are used in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('senior citizen are', 'it may causes'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing ('there is no people around to them'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas and periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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