Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

A significant increase in the population of elderly people is now been witnessed around the world. One of the key factors would be advanced medical research that has better grip on cures of many fatal diseases that were incurable in the past resulting in large deaths. Another reason for longer healthier lives could be the recent technology based advances in field of organic food. However, this has raised the question of whether aging population is now creating problems for the government. Every coin has two faces, where the governments are at a disadvantage of providing ample food, resources and accomodation for the increasing population where there is a sarcicity of all three in the world, there is also the advantage of having more happy families and also an increase in experienced workers in all fields. For example, taking the example of Pakistan, my home country such increase in elderly population puts a lot of weight on the financial economy of the country as all these retired people enjoy the monetary benefits from a country that is already trillions of dollars in debt. But on another note, having your parents live a longer and healthier life puts a placebo affect on the family where you also have retired home based people to take care of younger members of family while the breadwinners go out to earn without having to bear any further expenses of daycare or babysitters. In nutshell, the advantages of elderly population that is healthy and willing to help around outweighs the disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the development is somewhat superficial. While you mention economic strain and family support, these points are not fully extended with sufficient depth or nuance. The position is clear, but the argument lacks a structured approach, as the introduction and body paragraphs are merged into a single block of text. To improve, ensure you provide a clear introduction, distinct body paragraphs for each side of the argument, and a concluding summary. The example of Pakistan is relevant but could be better integrated to illustrate the broader global context requested by the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay lacks paragraphing, which significantly hinders the logical flow and readability. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'However' and 'For example', the lack of clear paragraph breaks makes the progression of ideas feel rushed and cluttered. Cohesion is present but often mechanical. To reach a higher band, you must organise your ideas into distinct paragraphs: one for the introduction, one for the disadvantages, one for the advantages, and one for the conclusion. This structure will allow your arguments to develop more logically and make the relationship between your points much clearer to the reader.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, such as 'monetary benefits' and 'fatal diseases'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'placebo affect' (which is misused here; a placebo effect refers to a psychological response to a fake treatment) and 'sarcicity' (spelling error for scarcity). Additionally, phrases like 'better grip on cures' are slightly informal. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure you are using complex vocabulary in the correct context. Proofreading for spelling errors like 'accomodation' will also help improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'is now been witnessed' should be 'is now being witnessed', and 'resulted in large deaths' is awkward phrasing. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text. While you attempt complex sentences, the control is inconsistent. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures. Pay close attention to verb tenses and ensure that your sentence boundaries are clearly marked with appropriate punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.