Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In today's world, many countries have several numbers of people living there as longer than ever before. Due to high population, there are arguments about the problems for government due to population whereas other believe that it is beneficial for society.

Owing to the fact that population has been growing rapidly and so devasting the nature as well as the human standard quality of living. Nevertheless, some public seems to consider that having an aging population is better. Additionally, older individuals play important role in the society. Moreover, elderly people are given more respect than other due to the tradition aspects. For example, in my community there are homes for elderly people, it was constructed for the aging people to protect the culture they have been carried. Furthermore, many countries are now prioritizing to the aging people so that the culture they had can also be protected which will help to maintain historical events and values. By providing the facilities to elderly people like the financial aid, free medical service etc. Government are protecting these people due the balance they need for the preservation of their culture and religious.

Although, its advantageous but problems to manage these population is sufficiently higher.

In brief the population of world is increasing at higher rate each year. Over population on earth can be really problematic which may later cause sever effect to atmospheric alter. So, to the extent of all information the disadvantages of having an aging population outweigh the advantages. Marinating the Earth is more vital than keeping the history alive.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but suffers from significant conceptual confusion. The essay conflates 'aging population' (a demographic shift where the median age increases) with 'overpopulation' (a high total number of people). Consequently, the arguments regarding 'devastating nature' and 'overpopulation' are largely irrelevant to the specific topic of an aging society. While a position is stated, the supporting ideas are underdeveloped and logically disconnected from the actual task. The essay fails to provide a balanced discussion of the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population, focusing instead on general population growth, which limits the score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is often unclear due to the confusion between aging and overpopulation. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Additionally', 'Moreover', and 'Furthermore', but they are sometimes used mechanically or to connect ideas that do not logically follow one another. The referencing is occasionally confusing, particularly in the second paragraph where the link between elderly people and the preservation of historical events is asserted without clear explanation or logical flow. Paragraphing is present but the internal structure of the arguments lacks coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'several numbers of people living there as longer than ever before' and 'atmospheric alter'. The student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, but word choice is frequently inaccurate, such as 'tradition aspects' instead of 'traditional aspects' and 'sever effect' instead of 'severe effect'. The range is sufficient to convey basic meaning, but the lack of precision and frequent errors in collocation prevent a higher score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('some public seems'), incorrect preposition usage ('prioritizing to the aging people'), and awkward sentence construction ('Government are protecting these people due the balance they need'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence structure is high. While the meaning is usually clear, the persistent errors indicate a lack of control over complex structures.

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