Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Through the world the elder people are having longer lives rather than their parents or grandparents had lived. few people state that old people can be overpopulate so, it will be a challenge to the law. while some citizens believe that having elderly would provide benefit. To my mind, aging population have more advantages rather than its drawbacks.

First of all, in many of the countries the population of older generations are living older lives. That would benefit the society by providing information which they have done them throughout all life. In addition, they will guide well to their upcoming generation such as in better politics, education institutes, health centers and research they have done. For example, elder citizens create simplicity for their younger ones what they had experienced and can give their suggestions of a betterment if they are asked a question.

On the other hand, few residents think that they create problem for the state. Because now they are too old to do something they are just being so, that can't benefit the state as they get overpopulated. For instance, they just stay in home and utilize the funding of the government where the state used to increase the overall funds. Furthermore, the residents that they think overcrowd will be a challenging for the state to provide first aid, separate homes, a caretaker, medicines, and healthy foods. which is a large budget to add-up.

In contrast, overpopulation of elder generation gives more info of their entire life they served and experienced while some argues having them which overcrowd them may rise the difficulty of the government.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that the elderly provide guidance and experience, these points are not fully supported with specific, concrete examples. The argument regarding the 'overpopulation' of the elderly is somewhat confusingly phrased, as aging populations typically refer to demographic shifts rather than overpopulation. The position is clear, but the overall depth of the response is restricted by repetitive phrasing and a lack of nuanced analysis. To improve, ensure each main point is supported by a clear, logical explanation and a specific real-world example.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'In contrast' at the beginning of the conclusion do not effectively link back to the previous arguments, and the transition between ideas within paragraphs is sometimes abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'the residents that they think overcrowd', which makes the sentence structure difficult to follow. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There is significant repetition of words like 'state', 'elderly', and 'people'. Some word choices are unnatural or incorrect in context, such as 'create simplicity' instead of 'provide guidance' or 'add-up' for costs. There are also issues with collocation, such as 'living older lives' instead of 'living longer lives'. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of synonyms and learning common collocations related to social and economic topics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'aging population have'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'the population of older generations are living older lives'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and sentence fragments. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar limits the score. Focusing on sentence structure, specifically ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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