Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The lifespan of all the people around the world has extended compared to the past. Many people say that increasing old population creates many hurdles for the authorities. While others think that there are many advantages of having senior citizens in the society. In this essay we will discuss both point of views and compare them.

Elder people are the gems of any nation, according to many people and it is because they are those who have put their energy and efforts in the development of the country. They are very important part of every family and they play a major role in the upbringing of their grandchildren. Children sometimes have a more deeper relation with the them than they have with their parents. They know what is wrong and what is good for the children but they explain them in a very affectionate way that children are willing to cooperate with them. For example I myself had a very deep connection with my grandparents, and one day I said a bad word to my sibling and my mom scolded me and grounded me. But the same thing was said to me by my grandparents it just dissolved into me I always remembered it ever since.

On the other hand some people think that there are many disadvantages of elder people like they say that they don't contribute to the society in anyway and are like a burden. They say that the government pays them for their home, their food, their water and electricity bills and other activities they do for free, which comes from the taxes taken from their salaries. They say that it was good to a limited extent but as the lifespans of people have increased greatly it has become harmful for the country and it's economy. For instance many people in my town think that they should work till their death.

In the end I would say that the advantages outweigh because the benefits they offer are huge compared to disadvanatges.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding the benefits focuses heavily on personal anecdotes about grandparents rather than broader societal or economic contributions. Similarly, the discussion of disadvantages relies on generalisations about government spending. While a position is stated in the conclusion, the essay lacks a balanced, analytical approach to the 'extent' of the advantages. To reach a higher band, you should focus on more objective, macro-level arguments, such as the 'silver economy' or the strain on healthcare systems, rather than relying primarily on personal experience.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat basic and occasionally repetitive. For instance, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is functional but lacks sophistication. Some referencing is slightly unclear, such as 'the them' in the second paragraph. While the overall structure is logical, the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer back to their antecedents to improve the overall cohesion of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'more deeper' (a double comparative error) and 'dissolved into me' (which is not a standard collocation for learning a lesson). The essay relies on relatively simple vocabulary throughout. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more topic-specific terminology related to demographics and economics, such as 'pension schemes', 'intergenerational support', or 'fiscal burden', and ensure that collocations are used accurately to convey your meaning more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the advantages outweigh'), missing articles, and awkward phrasing like 'it is because they are those who have put their energy'. The use of 'more deeper' is a grammatical error, and there are punctuation issues, such as the lack of commas in complex sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score. Focusing on sentence variety and proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would significantly improve your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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