Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In this recent era, individuals are nowadays live a longer life than before. Owing to this, a range of people think that high aged citizens creates problem for policy makers. However, others claim that elderly people benefits the society and I cognitively believe that this trend has far more disadvantages which will overshadow the advantages and it will streamlined in the subsequent paragraphs.
The supports of former view believe that this notion has some benefits. First and foremost is less burden on government. To elaborate this, in this modern era, there are many fatal disease are spreading into environment and it might lead to many health issues especially to older people which eventually put a burden on government for the health insurance. Secondly, organization has to pay less pension amount which can be advantageous for the company to use that particular amount wisely.
Paradoxically, there are more disadvantages than advantages. Firstly, elderly people have a very good experience in all sector such as business, financial or health sector and they will guide the younger generation to deal with the problems when they arise as younger generation might cannot handle the situation.
Furthermore, older people plays a very crucial role in today's era. To put it in other words, older people called roots of the family in many countries and if they are not present so the family will not get deeply attach. For instance, In India, it is like a culture to have a dinner with all family members every day and spend a quality time with each other and this change bring closeness and this change happen due to the older peoples.
Conclusively, although there are some advantages like less burden on government and companies but there are far more disadvantages such as older people has higher experience and they bring family closeness.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but suffers from significant logical inconsistencies. You state in the introduction that you believe the trend has 'far more disadvantages,' yet your body paragraphs argue that the elderly provide benefits like family closeness and guidance. Furthermore, your arguments regarding the disadvantages are actually presented as advantages (e.g., 'elderly people have a very good experience'). This confusion between the two sides of the argument makes your position unclear and poorly developed. To improve, ensure your supporting points directly align with your stated thesis and provide more specific, relevant examples rather than general statements.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hampered by the contradictory arguments mentioned above. While you use some cohesive devices like 'First and foremost,' 'Secondly,' and 'Furthermore,' their usage is sometimes mechanical or misused. For example, the transition 'Paradoxically' is used to introduce points that you seem to think are disadvantages, but they are actually positive attributes of the elderly. The progression of ideas is not always clear, and the conclusion fails to accurately summarize the main points because the body paragraphs were internally inconsistent.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choice, such as 'high aged citizens,' 'cognitively believe,' and 'deeply attach.' You also struggle with collocations, such as 'spreading into environment' and 'fatal disease are spreading.' To reach a higher band, focus on learning natural word combinations and using more precise academic vocabulary rather than attempting complex-sounding phrases that do not fit the context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('older people plays,' 'this change happen'), article usage, and sentence structure ('younger generation might cannot handle'). While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often marred by these errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that auxiliary verbs are used correctly. Proofreading for these fundamental errors would significantly improve the readability of your work.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.