Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Life expectancy is increased significantly in many countries because of the advancement in the science field, resulting in a growing number of elderly people in our society. Although the aged people provide benefit to our society, on the other hand, it also impact on our economy, according to the economist.

The advantage of having an aging population in our society is very impactful because those aged people have the experience of their field, which would be any field, but they do not have that energy to do that work, so they train a young person by sharing the knowledge with them, and also they can help their families in many ways, like in babysitting or doing small household fixes that many aged people like to do.

The disadvantage of having an aging population is the cost of healthcare and pensions that they get from the government, so this is the main issue that economists highlighted every time and the second main disadvantage of continuously decreasing the working people and increasing the amount of aged people this effect the economy the most because it might decrease the income and increase the expenses.

In the conclusion, aging people have many benefits such as, greater expirence and support for families. I watched a movie "The Intern" in which a old get the internship in a company and the that old intern teaches many lessons to other young employees we have to make that hybrid system in which we use the knowledge of them and train new ones.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention the economic burden and the value of experience, these points are not fully explored or supported with sufficient depth. The position is clear, but the argument lacks a cohesive structure to weigh the advantages against the disadvantages effectively. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more detailed explanation and a concrete example to support your claims, rather than relying on brief, general statements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of ideas. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. For example, the transition 'on the other hand' is used awkwardly in the first paragraph, and the connection between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where 'the that old intern' is grammatically confusing. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that pronouns clearly refer to their antecedents would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'impactful', 'main issue', and 'many benefits'. There are also some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'the advancement in the science field' (should be 'scientific advancement') and 'aging people' (often better expressed as 'the elderly' or 'the aging population'). To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to demographics and economics.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Life expectancy is increased' instead of 'has increased'), article usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'the second main disadvantage of continuously decreasing the working people'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic tense consistency and sentence structure accuracy.

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