Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is true that citizen are now living longer than past in different developed and underdeveloped countries. Some people argue that older people create challenges for governments, while others believe that having ageing population in society brings numerous benefits. I strongly believe that there a number of advantages if society has more older age people.

On the one hand, having more elderly people provide several benefits to the society. First and foremost, they have enough experience and knowledge about life as they already passed a number of years. During their entire life, they faced several difficult and hardship situation, which make them more knowledgeable than others ages of people. As a result, they can assist decision making of any kinds of social problems, such as, economic, personal life and so on. Furthermore, these group of people act as a role model in society. Because, others ages of people, specially younger, can learn about norms, values, culture and tradition from them. Therefore, future generation will not distract from the social rules and regulations and it also sharpen their behavior.

Despite of these above benefits, having too much older age residents create challenges for state. To begin with, almost all older people are unemployed and this may create burden to the government. Because, they are not contributing the country's economy like the others group of people. As a result, government may allocate extra fund for them for fulfilling their basic needs. This may sometime creates deficit in the total budget of a country. What is more, as people get older, they also suffer from different kinds of disease, such as, diabetes, obesity, etc. So, state controller has to emphasize more on health sector rather than other profitable areas, such as, foreign direct investment, agriculture,business and so on.

In conclusion, although having more elderly people create burden for governments, I firmly belive that society can get a wide range of benefits during their presence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified both the challenges and the benefits of an aging population, which demonstrates a balanced approach. However, the development of ideas could be more sophisticated. For instance, the point about elderly people acting as 'role models' is a good start, but it could be strengthened with a more concrete example of how this impacts societal values. Similarly, the economic argument regarding the 'burden' on the state is relevant but remains somewhat general. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting arguments are fully extended with specific explanations or real-world examples.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'First and foremost,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through your arguments. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'as a result' and 'because.' Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing, such as 'these group of people' (should be 'this group') and 'despite of these above benefits' (should be 'despite these benefits'). Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring precise pronoun usage will enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'economic,' 'deficit,' and 'role model.' However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'citizen are now living longer than past' (should be 'citizens' and 'than in the past') and 'others ages of people' (should be 'other age groups'). You also rely on some basic phrasing. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and ensure that your word forms are accurate. Expanding your vocabulary to include more nuanced synonyms for 'problems' or 'benefits' would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('citizen are,' 'these group of people'), missing articles ('contributing to the country's economy'), and incorrect preposition usage ('despite of'). While you attempt complex sentences, they often contain minor errors that prevent them from being fully error-free. Focusing on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your score in this criterion.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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