Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
SOCIETY IS BEING TRANSFORMED REGULARLY AS A NATURAL PART OF EVOLUTION EVER SINCE DAWN OF CIVILIZATION NOW A DAYS,SOME MASSES RECKON THAT PEOPLE ARE NOW LIVING LONGER THAN BEFORE WHILE OTHER DEEM THAT ITS IS NOT RIGHT HOWEVER,IT IS A HIGHLY DEBATABLE TOPIC THE KEY FEATURE PERTAINING TOO THE SAME ARE ELABORATED IN THE SUBSEQUENT PARAGRAPH
TO EMBARK WITH, THERE ARE MYRIAD REASON FOR OLDER PEOPLE LIVING LONGER AND HAS A POSITIVE IMPACT INITIALLY,IF IN PRESENT TIME OLDER PEOPLE LIVING LONGER THAN BEFORE IT IS BENEFIT FOR YOUTH BECAUSE THEYCAN HELP THEIR GRAND CHILDREN TO TEACH THEN MORAL VALUES AND HOW TO BEHAVE IN PUBLIC AND WITH PEOPLE IN SOCIETY BECAUSE THEY HAS SPENT MORELIFE THEREFORE ,THEY HAVE MORE KNOWLEDGE ABOUT PUBLIC FOR INSTANCE , IN MY CASE MY GRAND FATHER ALSO GIVE ME USEFUL KNOWLEDGE ABOUT PEOPLE AND INREASE MY CONFIDENCE BY SUPPORTING ME THEY ALSO HAD TEACH ME ABOUT OUR CULTURE AND RELEGION SUCH AS IN SPECIAL FESTIVAL OR EVENTS LIKE IN DIWALI, HOLI, IN MARRIAGE THEY HELP THEM CONTINUE OUR TRADITION
ON FLIP SIDE, THERE ARE FEW NEGATIVE IMPACT OF OLD PEOPLE LIVING LONGER INITIALLY, OLDER PEOPLE INCREASE PRESSURE ON GOVERNMENT BECAUSE THEY NEED MORE HEALTH CARE SERVICE AND MEDICAL TREATMENT WHICH CAN INCREASE PUBLIC SPENDING IN ADDITION,MANY OLDER PEOPLE RETIRE FROM ANY SERVICE LIKE FROM ARMY, BANK ETCETRA IF THE NUMBER OF RETIRE PEOPLE INCREASE THEN GOVERMENT FACE ALOT OF DIFFICULTIES TO MAINTAINING THE RETIRE PENSION THIS CAN PLACE HEAVY FINANCIAL BURDEN ON GOVERNMENT AND MAY LEAD HIGHER TAXES FOR YOUNG PEOPLE
TO ENCAPSULATE LIFE IS A COMBINATION OF GOOD AND BAD CHOICES IF PROS AND CONS OF ANYTHING ARE WEIGHED RIGHTFULL AND WISELY ONLY THEN MANKIND CAN LED TO BOUNTIFUL FUTURE THEREFORE, I BELIEVED THAT WITH THE PROPER PLANING AND GOVERMENT SUPPORT THIS PROBLEM CAN SOLVE CAMLY
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both sides of the argument, discussing the benefits of elderly people in society and the economic challenges for governments. However, the position is not clearly stated in the introduction, and the conclusion is somewhat vague. While the ideas are relevant, they are not fully developed; for instance, the point about 'moral values' is anecdotal and lacks a broader societal context. The essay covers all parts of the task, but the development of arguments is limited, and the overall stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages remains unclear throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is hindered by the lack of proper punctuation and capitalization. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'initially' to start paragraphs. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas is abrupt. The lack of sentence-level punctuation makes it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of arguments, which significantly impacts the overall coherence of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and spelling errors, such as 'relegion' instead of 'religion', 'inrease' instead of 'increase', and 'rightfull' instead of 'rightfully'. The range of vocabulary is basic, and the student struggles to use less common items accurately. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the frequent spelling mistakes prevent the response from reaching a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The grammatical control is weak. The essay lacks basic punctuation, with many sentences running into each other, and the entire text is written in capital letters, which is inappropriate. There are frequent errors in subject-verb agreement, such as 'they has spent' and 'they had teach me'. Complex sentence structures are attempted but are often faulty, leading to confusion. The lack of proper sentence boundaries and consistent grammatical errors significantly impede the clarity of the writing.
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