Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In multiple countries, individuals are now living longer than ever before. Some individuals say an aging population creates issues for authorities. Other humans believe that there are several merits if society has more older people. There are several benefits of aging population outweigh drawbacks in the following paragraphs.
Commencing with the benefits of aging population is that older people can have more work experience which can help for young generation in toady's world. To explain, the majority of elderly individuals can create more workforce such as doctors, engineers and many other sectors. Another merits is that they are more support for family members. To explain, retired grandparents can help childcare. To cite an instance, in the UK and the USA older people may have more work experience such as information technology sectors because it is benefits for young generation.
However, there are several drawbacks of aging population which can be considered. Firstly, it is higher cost of health care. To explain, elderly individuals generally need more medical care.
Another drawback is that it may be pressure on pensions policy. To elaborate, local authorities may need to spend more money on pensions and social security. For example, in the UK and Canada countries local governments may spend more money on pensions policy.
In conclusion, although there are several drawback of aging population such as higher cost of medical care and spending more money on pensions policy. Therefore, there are some merits of aging population such as more family support as well as more work experience.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population. However, the position is not clearly maintained throughout the essay. While the introduction mentions that benefits outweigh drawbacks, the conclusion does not clearly reiterate this stance, instead listing points from both sides. The ideas are relevant but remain somewhat under-developed; for instance, the claim that elderly people contribute to the IT sector in the UK and USA is not well-supported or logically connected to the broader argument. To reach a higher band, you should ensure your position is consistent and provide more detailed, logical explanations for your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is a basic logical flow. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'To explain' and 'Another merits'. Some transitions are awkward, such as the sentence 'There are several benefits of aging population outweigh drawbacks in the following paragraphs', which is grammatically disjointed and does not effectively introduce the essay's structure. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the conclusion is a sentence fragment that fails to provide a cohesive summary of the arguments presented. Improving the variety and naturalness of linking words would significantly enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'create more workforce' instead of 'contribute to the workforce' and 'it is benefits for young generation' instead of 'it is beneficial'. The repetition of basic terms like 'merits' and 'drawbacks' limits the sophistication of the response. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider range of academic vocabulary to express complex ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include missing articles ('in toady's world', 'in the UK and Canada countries'), subject-verb agreement errors ('Another merits is that'), and incorrect preposition usage. The sentence structure in the conclusion is particularly problematic, as it is a fragment rather than a complete sentence. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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