Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It is undeniable that increasing number of elderly citizens has generated considerbale amount of debate in recent years. Some individuals believe that they are enhancing the government's budget, others argue that aged people can be beneficial to nation if properly utilized. This essay will critically examine the dual perspectives and check whether advantages outhweigh drawbacks and present a well reasoned approach when cosidered logically. In my opinion, elderly people can play an effective role on econmoy.

Proponents believe that state has to take the responsibility of elderly people but in return state gets very little. Elderly people enhance the medical insurance cost . As elderly people are less productive, so government have to increase the number immigrants to run the ecenomy efficiently. Another problem is decreasing birth rate . Japan , Germany and some other developed countries are suffering due to aged people . Specially in Japan average life duration is almost 85 years. So Japan is facing more problems to manage these old people as well as continue the econmic progress.

Opponents argue that elderly people should be treated as wealth. They are rich in experience and knowledge. Old people can provide the guideline in crucial time. They can be advisor of the nation with their wisdom and experience. Japan ,China , Germany, Italy and many others developing countries are utilizing their old people very effectively as these elderly people serving their nation with proper decisions at crucial moment.

In my view, elderly people are part of the state. Government can not throw away these peoples. Government can impose mandatory health tax on the earnings of the employees, so government can bear the medical cost when necessary. Another way government can appoint them as advisors in different sectors according to their merit and expertise. With proper care and evaluation elderly people can serve.

In conclusion , both views are valid, but the drawbacks can not be overlooked. Advantages outhweigh the disadvantages as it provides more sustainable and long term sollutions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, providing arguments for both the challenges and benefits of an aging population. Your position is clear throughout, and you offer a personal view in the conclusion. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding Japan and Germany is mentioned but lacks specific, well-explained evidence to fully support the claim. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is expanded with more depth and logical explanation rather than just listing examples. The conclusion is a bit contradictory, as it states the drawbacks cannot be overlooked but then claims the advantages outweigh them without fully reconciling this tension.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the progression of your argument. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Proponents believe', 'Opponents argue', and 'In conclusion', to signal shifts in perspective. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, the transition between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother; some sentences feel disjointed. For example, the jump from discussing medical costs to immigration in the second paragraph lacks a strong linking phrase to show the logical connection. Improving the variety of your cohesive devices would enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'undeniable', 'productive', and 'expertise'. However, there are several spelling errors ('considerbale', 'outhweigh', 'ecenomy', 'sollutions') and some awkward collocations, such as 'enhancing the government's budget' (which is not the standard way to describe the financial burden of an aging population). While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, the frequent spelling mistakes and occasional imprecise word choices prevent you from reaching a higher band. Focusing on accurate spelling and learning common collocations related to social and economic topics will help improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is a positive step. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include missing articles ('the state', 'the economy'), subject-verb agreement errors ('government have to'), and punctuation issues, such as unnecessary spaces before commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammar rules, particularly article usage and subject-verb agreement, and proofread your work to catch minor slips in punctuation and sentence structure.

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