Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays a large number of people have higher life expectancy becuase of better facilities and modern healthcare systems. Due to this, I largely agree that aging population can cause for the economic instablility.

The prime reason is that older adults need more chronic disease treatment and long-term care systems. As people grow elder, they cannot be able to cook and clean alone becuase their bones become weak and muscle get soft due to this healing takes significantly more time. As a result, government not only needs to adjust health care staff but also more budget is require to accomodate the older people. For example, japan has the largest life expectancy compared with other countries, which is causing for low birthrate.

Another important reason is that it can leads to limited opportunities for young people. This is because older individuals will enjoy the long-term careers instead of retiring early. In addition, their productivity also decline as they grow compared to youngsters. Consequently, young people have to wait longer for a stable career to get competitive salaries. For instance, computer science graduates are shifting towards freelancing because older people are not retiring due to which limited opportunities are available.

Some people argue that elderly people are blessing, they create a healthy society with their experience by passing down culutral traditions, history and valueable lessons to young people. However, i do not find this agrument convincing, since the number of disadvanatges are far more than advantages.

In conclusion, therefore i strongly support the view that aging population have detrimental effect on ecomony budget as well as played a key role in inflation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the disadvantages of an aging population outweigh the advantages. The main arguments regarding economic strain and limited job opportunities for the youth are relevant. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the economic argument is supported with an example (Japan), the discussion on the benefits of the elderly is dismissed rather briefly without deep exploration. To reach a higher band, you should provide a more balanced analysis by acknowledging the benefits more thoroughly before refuting them, ensuring that the 'extent' of your position is fully justified through detailed reasoning rather than just stating that disadvantages are 'far more'.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, each with a clear central topic. You use cohesive devices such as 'The prime reason is', 'As a result', and 'In addition' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing and flow. For instance, the transition between the discussion of the elderly as a 'blessing' and your rebuttal is a bit abrupt. The use of paragraphing is appropriate, and the progression of ideas is generally easy to follow, though the concluding sentence introduces a new point about 'inflation' that was not previously discussed in the body paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'life expectancy', 'chronic disease', 'economic instability', and 'detrimental effect'. However, there are several spelling errors ('becuase', 'instablility', 'accomodate', 'ecomony', 'disadvanatges') and some awkward collocations, such as 'muscle get soft' or 'aging population can cause for the economic instablility'. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a wider grasp of precise word forms to reach the 7.0+ level.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Examples include 'aging population can cause for' (incorrect verb usage), 'they cannot be able to' (redundant modal usage), 'more budget is require' (incorrect passive voice), and 'it can leads to' (subject-verb agreement error). While you successfully use complex sentences, the frequency of these small errors means that your control over grammar is not yet consistent enough for a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct verb forms will significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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