Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays a large number of people have higher life expectancy because of better facilities and modern healthcare systems. Due to this, I largely agree that ageing population can severely affect the economic instability.

The prime reason is that older adults need more chronic disease treatment and long-term care systems. As people grow older, they cannot cook and clean alone because their bones become weak and muscle get soft due to this healing takes significantly more time. As a result, the government not only needs to adjust health care staff but also more budget is required to accommodate the older people. For example, Japan has the largest life expectancy compared with other countries, which is causing low birthrate.

Another important reason is that it can leads to limited opportunities for young people. This is because older individuals will enjoy the long-term careers instead of retiring early. In addition, their productivity also declines as they grow compared to youngsters. Consequently, young people have to wait longer for a stable career to get competitive salaries. For instance, Computer science graduates are shifting towards freelancing because older people are not retiring due to which limited opportunities are available.

Some people argue that elderly people are a blessing, they create a healthy society with their experience by passing down cultural traditions, history and valuable lessons to young people. However, I do not find this argument convincing, since the number of disadvantages are far more than advantages.

In conclusion, therefore I strongly support the view that ageing population have detrimental effect on economic budget as well as played a key role in inflation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified the main disadvantages (economic burden and limited career opportunities for youth) and acknowledged the counter-argument regarding cultural benefits. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example of Japan is mentioned but not fully explained in relation to the economic argument. To reach a higher band, ensure that your supporting examples are more deeply integrated into your reasoning rather than just stated. Your position is consistent, but the conclusion introduces a new point about 'inflation' which was not previously discussed in the body paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized with clear paragraphing. You use cohesive devices such as 'The prime reason is', 'Another important reason is', and 'Consequently' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally slightly imprecise, such as in the sentence 'due to this healing takes significantly more time', where the connection to the previous clause is slightly awkward. The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the link between the final conclusion and the body paragraphs could be tighter, as the mention of inflation appears abruptly at the end.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'life expectancy', 'chronic disease', and 'detrimental effect'. There are some instances of slightly unnatural word choices, such as 'muscle get soft' (should be 'muscles weaken') and 'economic instability' (which does not perfectly fit the context of an aging population's cost). While you attempt to use more academic language, some collocations are slightly off. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used in the correct context to convey your meaning more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'it can leads to' (subject-verb agreement error), 'ageing population have' (should be 'an ageing population has'), and 'due to which limited opportunities are available' (awkward phrasing). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and the correct use of relative clauses. Increasing the variety of error-free complex sentences will help you move up the band scale.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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