Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Actually i think that the living more of elderly people disclosed the success of medical in the present and also that now our country is far more saved from the dangerous viruses and which is a very positive point. And those people who were saying that this could increase or outweigh population what they are having a point in there statement that why should old people would rather die than living?

So, according to me those people were lack of knowledge because increasing in the rate of life has no effect on the rate of population and if they are very concerned so they need to organize a campion to reduce the rate of increasing of birth rate because life of other person is not in our arms but rate of production of child is in our hands so rather than speaking on some ones we should need to concern about the rate of birthrate.

In many countries around have controlled the population of their country by controlling the birthrate and by spreading the awareness of different issues around the country which could be happened by the increasing of number of population

In my mind there is a perfect example of such a country such as JAPAN and CHINA has controlled the population of there country by such awareness and they allowed there people living to have one or two child and if they does they could get such bonus and it is effectively acting on people to avoid these such higher rates

After all the discussion i come to a conclusion that rather than focusing on elderly group we should control birthrate of our country if we want to get rid of population destructions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.5

The response struggles to address the prompt effectively. While it acknowledges the topic of an aging population, the argument quickly shifts to a discussion about birth rates and population control, which is only tangentially related to the core question regarding the advantages and disadvantages of an aging society. The student fails to provide a balanced discussion or a clear position on the specific trade-offs mentioned in the prompt. Instead, the essay focuses on the misconception that elderly people contribute to overpopulation. Consequently, the ideas are underdeveloped and do not directly answer the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is disjointed, and the argument lacks a clear flow. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as 'After all the discussion i come to a conclusion' and 'In my mind there is a perfect example'. Referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's line of reasoning. The overall structure is present but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'living more of elderly people', 'medical in the present', and 'campion' (campaign). The student relies on basic vocabulary and struggles to express complex ideas accurately. Phrases like 'not in our arms' and 'rate of production of child' are unnatural and indicate a lack of control over academic register. To improve, the student needs to focus on learning collocations and using more precise terminology related to social and demographic issues.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'those people who were saying... what they are having a point' and 'if they does'. Sentence structures are often repetitive and contain errors in tense and word order, for example, 'which could be happened by the increasing of number of population'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas and incorrect capitalization. The range of structures is limited, and the frequent errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher band.

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