Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Some people argue that government have problem because of the ageing people population, while others believe that more elderly people give valuable benefits to the society. In this essay, I will explain why the benefits of having an ageing population overshadow the potential drawbacks.
On the one hand, the existence of the ageing population could pose two challenges to the government. Firstly, if people live longer, they may need to be supported financially by the government. When they get retired and cannot save the money and not fulfil their daily necessities i their retirement. there family may support their need but elder people usually do not want to inconvenience their family members. Secondly, if they have illness, it will impact the health system. To illustrate as they get older most of them suffer complication. Consequently, the treatment cost will be even higher. Because of this, they take up resource needed by other people in the society.
On the other hand, I would argue that having older people offer more benefits to the governments. First, they are an assets for the society, because of their experience and the excellent competencies that they are frequently asked about their consideration to overcome problem and minimize potential loss. Furthermore, they also become the leader for achieving targets. After retirement, they are productive for their family by helping as babysit, spending money as consumer, and even doing charitable work.
In conclusion, while having an ageing population might cause the government to give financial support and cope with health system, they show the valuable economic and societal contributions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments are relevant, though the development is somewhat uneven. For example, the discussion on the health system is a bit brief, and the explanation of how elderly people act as 'assets' could be more deeply explored with specific examples. While the position is clear, the ideas are sometimes presented in a list-like fashion rather than being fully extended. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported by a more detailed explanation or a concrete example to demonstrate a deeper level of analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Firstly', and 'Furthermore' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and there are issues with sentence-level cohesion, such as the fragmented sentence 'there family may support their need but elder people usually do not want to inconvenience their family members.' Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, which disrupts the flow of ideas. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences are connected more smoothly would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the student to convey their meaning clearly. There are attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'competencies', 'complication', and 'charitable work'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'ageing people population' instead of 'ageing population' and 'as babysit' instead of 'as babysitters'. Some phrasing is repetitive, and the range of vocabulary is somewhat limited. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise terminology to express complex ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability, such as 'government have problem' (subject-verb agreement), 'get retired' (incorrect passive voice), and 'i their retirement' (spelling/preposition error). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with sentence fragments and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on subject-verb agreement, article usage, and sentence boundary punctuation would significantly improve the accuracy of the writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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