Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Elderly people in any society are always considered as a privilige for the well-being of that society. It is often argued that having aged people for too long in society creates problems for establishments as they are considered as hurdels toward novelty as most of the individuals believe that elderly people are stick to their conventional ideologies, make it hard for the surroundigs to progress as they find it difficult to accept new theories but others are of the view firmly stick to the ideathat thier presence itself is a privlige to the society as they are much more experienced in certain aspects as compared to the new generation youngsters.
As far as I am concerned, I firmly admit that a society with more elderly people is considered more worthy as elders in the society are always there to guide the young ones and are far more experienced in terms that ultimately benefit the society.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 155 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While you introduce the topic and state a position, the ideas are significantly under-developed. You mention the potential problems and benefits of an aging population, but you do not provide specific examples or detailed arguments to support your views. To improve, you must expand your body paragraphs with concrete evidence, such as economic impacts or healthcare challenges, to fully explore the extent to which the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear structure. It consists of only two paragraphs, whereas a standard IELTS response should have an introduction, at least two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of paragraphing and limited use of cohesive devices. While there is a basic attempt to connect ideas using 'as far as I am concerned' and 'as compared to', the flow is often mechanical. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and use a wider range of linking words to guide the reader through your argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and contains several spelling errors and word-choice inaccuracies. For example, you use 'privilige' (privilege), 'hurdels' (hurdles), and 'stick to the ideathat' (idea that). The phrase 'stick to their conventional ideologies' is a bit informal. While you attempt to use some academic vocabulary, the frequent errors and repetitive phrasing suggest a limited range. To achieve a higher band, focus on accurate spelling and incorporating more precise, topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics and societal development.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'elderly people are stick to their conventional ideologies' is grammatically incorrect; it should be 'stick to'. Additionally, there are issues with punctuation and sentence boundaries, such as the very long, run-on sentence in the first paragraph. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and ensure that complex sentences are constructed correctly. Proofreading for basic errors will also help improve your score significantly.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.