Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
People are living longer today than at any other time in history due to improvements in healthcare
One of the major drawbacks an aging population creates is increased economic pressure on the government. They spend huge financial figure on pensions, healthcare and elderly care services. An aged person surrounded with more diseases and health concerns. As a result, authorities invested more on hospitals by providing advanced tools and equipment, such as CT scan, X-ray machines, MRI scanners and ultrasound machines, as well as basic healthcare facilities. These services should be made available not only in urban areas but also in rural communities. For example, in India, the government has to allocate substantial funds to upgrade public hospitals and provide specialized medical equipment to meet the need of elderly people. Consequently, an ageing population can place considerable pressure on public finances.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response is significantly under the required 250-word minimum, which severely limits the development of your ideas. You have identified one disadvantage (economic pressure), but you have failed to address the other side of the prompt—the potential benefits of an aging population. Furthermore, your position is not clearly stated or maintained throughout the text. Because the response is less than 150 words, it is impossible to fully address all parts of the task or provide a balanced argument. To improve, you must expand your response to meet the length requirement and ensure you address both sides of the prompt before providing your own opinion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The response consists of only one paragraph, which makes it difficult to demonstrate effective paragraphing or logical progression. While there is a basic attempt to link ideas using cohesive devices like 'As a result' and 'Consequently', the overall structure is insufficient for a discursive essay. The lack of a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion means the response lacks a coherent framework. To improve, you should organize your essay into clear paragraphs: an introduction, two body paragraphs (one for disadvantages and one for advantages), and a conclusion. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'economic pressure', 'pensions', and 'specialized medical equipment', but there are also some awkward phrasings, such as 'huge financial figure' (should be 'sums') and 'An aged person surrounded with more diseases' (which is grammatically and lexically unnatural). To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and a wider variety of academic vocabulary to express complex ideas. Avoid repetitive sentence structures and try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms for common words.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and some complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For example, 'They spend huge financial figure on...' should be 'They spend huge financial sums on...', and 'An aged person surrounded with more diseases' is a sentence fragment missing a main verb. Additionally, 'authorities invested more' should be 'authorities invest more' to maintain consistent tense. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct verb tense usage, and ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and a finite verb. Proofreading for basic errors will also help improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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