Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the recent years, aging population living longer is an advantage or disadvantage for the government and society has become widely discussed issue. Although there are some disadvantages associated with this trend, I believe that advantages are more significant.

Firstly, aging people creates problems for governments is an important issue. This is because nowadays it is difficult for old individuals to understand what is going on around themselves and the development in basic facilities government is doing for everybody around us. As a result government needs to arrange volunteer camps for them. For example, it is very difficult for an old man to get to a metro train or book tickets online so governments need to arrange the desk near stations for this old people, so governments invest highly in this is of no use . Therefore, it is understandable why many people consider this approach to be disadvantage.

In contrast others believe that older people are significant part of our society because they give us the important message they learned from their whole life and help us during our difficult times. Additionally, grandparent are very important of the our kids they learn manners and spend more time with them. they argue that old age people are significant as they provide us the cultural as well as historical things and knowledge about our ancestors and their valueable assets. For instance, my grandfather has told me many stories of our ancestors and items which are form them used ti

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the score. The position is clear, but the development of ideas is inconsistent. The argument regarding the disadvantages is somewhat illogical, suggesting that elderly people cannot understand their surroundings, which is a weak and unsupported generalization. The second paragraph is cut off mid-sentence, preventing a full exploration of the advantages. To improve, ensure you provide balanced, logical arguments and complete your thoughts fully. The under-length nature of the essay limits the depth of the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow is hindered by the incomplete ending. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Firstly', 'In contrast', 'Additionally'), they are sometimes used mechanically. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'this is of no use', where the antecedent is ambiguous. The progression of ideas is interrupted by the abrupt conclusion, which makes the overall structure feel unfinished. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, logical conclusion that ties back to the main thesis.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'aging population living longer is an advantage or disadvantage' and 'old age people'. The use of 'valueable' contains a spelling error. The range of vocabulary is limited, relying on repetitive structures and simple word choices. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more topic-specific collocations and precise terminology related to demographics and social policy, while ensuring accurate spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'aging people creates problems' (subject-verb agreement), 'grandparent are very important of the our kids' (pluralization and preposition usage), and 'items which are form them used ti' (incomplete sentence). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage would significantly improve your accuracy.

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