Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Many believe that in different nations elderly people who have longer lifespans are creating numerous disadvantages for the government while others think otherwise. I firmly agree that there are more advantages of having seniors in society as they contribute to preserving the culture. Even though citizens living longer can increase the expenses for the government by increasing the requirement for healthcare facilities, I think the advantages are significant compared to the disadvantages.

Citizens who live longer constantly need medical attention as immunity in a human body decreases as time passes by. The weak immunity exposes older people to numerous diseases so, naturally they require routine check-ups resulting in an increase in hospital expenses. Furthermore, the elderly citizens need to be constantly taken care of by medical staff and have more everyday needs than the younger generation in the community resulting in an increase in expenditure. For example, most older people need separate wards in hospitals with costly medical equipment forcing constant government spending.

In contrast, the seniors contribute to society in a number of ways. Having a senior citizen in a household helps to enhance the family values by sharing experiences and hardships of life. Moreover, the old people can inspire youngsters to love their culture and tradition leading to the preservation of culture. For instance, Japan has many traditional food stalls run by elderly couples that result in keeping the cuisine authentic; this is a massive advantage for Japanese society.

To conclude, it is obvious that there are disadvantages of having more retirees in a society because of the increased expense in the healthcare facilities. However, I think the benefits, like culture preservation and enhancement of family values certainly outweigh the downsides.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified both the disadvantages (healthcare costs) and advantages (cultural preservation and family values) as requested. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the mention of Japan's traditional food stalls. However, the development of ideas could be more sophisticated to reach a higher band. For instance, the discussion on 'healthcare expenses' is somewhat repetitive, and the argument regarding 'family values' could be expanded with more depth to fully justify why the benefits outweigh the costs. Overall, the response is well-focused and directly answers the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'In contrast', and 'For instance' to link your points effectively. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be more varied to improve the flow. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the overall structure supports the development of your argument. To improve, try to integrate your sentences more fluidly so that the connections between ideas feel more natural rather than relying on standard linking words.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'healthcare facilities', 'expenditure', and 'authentic'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a reliance on simpler vocabulary in places. There are no significant errors in word choice that impede communication, but the use of less common lexical items is infrequent. To achieve a higher score, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and avoid repeating words like 'increase' or 'result' multiple times. Expanding your vocabulary to include more nuanced synonyms would enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You show good control over basic grammar, and your sentences are generally error-free, which ensures that your meaning is always clear. There are some minor punctuation issues, such as the missing comma after 'diseases so' and 'check-ups resulting'. While you attempt complex structures, they are sometimes slightly repetitive in their construction. To reach a higher band, focus on increasing the variety of your sentence patterns—for example, by using more subordinate clauses or passive voice constructions where appropriate—and ensure that your punctuation is consistently accurate to support the flow of your complex sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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