Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

The expectancy of life become more longer compared to early in numerous nations. Some people believe that an aging population often creates circumstances for authorities. While other people claim that it has advantages if society has more old aged people. I firmly believe that disadvantages are more than those of advantages such as overpopulation, economical disturbance as well as food shortages. My viewpoint is explained further in the ensuing paragraphs.

To justify my viewpoint, one key point is that, overcrowded population often cause house shortages for living. As a result, it lead a negative impact on forests due to deforestation. Therefore, it create a major problem to government for distribution of residential requirement. For instance, in metropolitan area become urban sprawl so it increases more demand for housing for citizens. Moreover, If the people are living longer, government has to take care of them. It requires fund for pension and other tax distribution. As a result, it affects the economical balance. Consequently, authorities have to pay more attention for welfare that's often draw less focus on development.

Another significant aspect is that, more number of population often demand for food. Which create food crisis. As a result, inappropriate and non sufficient diet often cause health issues. For example, individual often requires healthy diet with nutrients. If government cannot meet the demand, it affects the health of people. For that, authority face difficulty to meet the requirement.

However, other people claim that, elder individuals are the root of culture and the society so that it carries moral values as well as traditions. Therefore, older people are essential for the society.

In conclusion, Number of people living longer life nowadays in many nations. Although old aged people are the source of tradition and custom, it often creates problems for governments such as housing and food shortage as well as economical imbalance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is somewhat problematic. The argument that an aging population leads to 'overpopulation' and 'food shortages' is logically weak, as an aging population typically refers to a higher median age rather than an increase in total population size. The link between elderly citizens and deforestation is also tenuous and lacks clear justification. While the position is consistent, the supporting arguments are not fully developed or logically sound, which limits the score. To improve, ensure that your arguments directly address the specific challenges of an aging demographic, such as healthcare costs or labor shortages, rather than general population growth.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Consequently', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is often mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'Therefore, it create a major problem' is grammatically awkward and disrupts the flow. The progression of ideas is occasionally hindered by these mechanical links and the lack of logical connection between the premise (aging population) and the consequences mentioned (deforestation). Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more cohesive to better guide the reader through your argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There is some repetition of basic terms like 'people', 'government', and 'problems'. Some collocations are unnatural, such as 'economical disturbance' (should be 'economic instability') and 'residential requirement'. While the meaning is generally clear, the lack of variety and occasional word-choice errors prevent the essay from reaching a higher level. To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to demographics and economics, and try to use more precise synonyms to avoid repetitive phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('The expectancy of life become', 'it create a major problem'), article misuse ('in metropolitan area'), and awkward phrasing ('more longer'). While the meaning is usually understandable, these persistent errors in basic grammar and sentence construction are noticeable. To improve, focus on mastering subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles. Additionally, proofread your work to catch simple errors that could be easily corrected.

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