Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The life expectancy has become longer compared to the past in numerous nations. Some people believe that an aging population often creates challenges for authorities. While other people claim that it has advantages if society has more elderly people. I firmly believe that disadvantages outweigh the advantages such as overpopulation, economic disturbance as well as food shortages. My viewpoint is explained further in the ensuing paragraphs.

To justify my viewpoint, one key point is that, an overcrowded population often causes housing shortages for living. As a result, it leads to a negative impact on forests due to deforestation. Therefore, it creates a major problem for the government for distribution of residential requirements. For instance, in metropolitan areas, urban sprawl increases more demand for housing for citizens. Moreover, If people live longer, the government has to take care of them. It requires funds for pension and other tax distribution. As a result, it affects the economic balance. Consequently, authorities have to pay more attention to welfare which often draw less focus on development.

Another significant aspect is that, a larger population often demands for food. This creates a food crisis. As a result, inappropriate and insufficient diet often causes health issues. For example, individual often requires a healthy diet with nutrients. If government cannot meet the demand, it affects the health of people. For that, authorities face difficulties to meet the requirement.

However, other people claim that, elder individuals are the root of culture and the society so that it carries moral values as well as traditions. Therefore, elderly people are essential for the society.

In conclusion, the number of people living longer life has increased. Although elderly people are the source of tradition and custom, they often creates problems for governments such as housing and food shortage as well as economic imbalance.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt, but the development of ideas is problematic. You have misinterpreted the topic of an 'aging population' as 'overpopulation'. The arguments regarding housing shortages, deforestation, and food crises are linked to population growth rather than the specific challenges of an elderly demographic. While you mention pensions and welfare, the core of your essay focuses on general population density rather than the implications of increased longevity. To improve, ensure you focus on the specific demographic shift described in the prompt. Your position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack relevance to the specific topic of aging.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and you use basic cohesive devices such as 'Moreover', 'Consequently', and 'In conclusion' to link your ideas. However, the progression of ideas is sometimes mechanical. The transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is clear, but the internal logic within the paragraphs is weakened by the off-topic arguments regarding overpopulation. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the flow of ideas would be improved by using more sophisticated referencing and avoiding repetitive sentence structures at the start of each paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You have a sufficient range of vocabulary to convey your meaning, such as 'life expectancy', 'metropolitan areas', and 'economic balance'. However, there are instances of awkward word choices and collocations, such as 'distribution of residential requirements' and 'draw less focus on development'. Some vocabulary is used repetitively, and there is a lack of more precise, academic terminology that would elevate the response. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations more naturally and incorporating a wider variety of topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics and social policy.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'they often creates problems' (subject-verb agreement), 'individual often requires' (article usage), and 'living longer life' (missing article). Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or awkwardly phrased, such as 'While other people claim that it has advantages if society has more elderly people.' Improving your control over subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly enhance the accuracy of your writing.

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