Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is true that the life span of people has increased. So, some individuals argue that elderly people create problems for government, while other people believe the older generations are beneficial for the community. Although there are some drawbacks of having senior citizens in a society, there are more benefits of elderly people.
There are a number of reasons why ageing population are very important for a society. One of the possible reason is that they are mature enough and experienced. So, they can easily handle any possible problems which quality is necessary for the well-being of a community. Since, they are experienced a lot, they can play an important role in politics by participating in the election. An experienced politician can build up good relation with foreign investors and can contribute to develop the economy of a nation. They can play a vital role to indroduce some important laws if they are in a powerful position. Another possible reason why they are beneficial for a nation is that they can give some necessary avdice to the young generation for their life experience. As a result, it would be possible to prevent young generation from making any wrong decision.
Despite the above arguments, there are few disadvantages of elderly people. Firstly, if they retire from their jobs and do nothing , they might be a burden for the government. Without contributing in the economy, they will not be considered an important group. Their family members may think since they are not capable of earning they are useless. In some regards, they will be treated badly.
In conclusion, I believe someone has become older and retire from workplace which doesn't indicate that they become useless rather than there are a lot of possibilities remain for them to contribute for their nation. So, we should consider elderly people as an asset not as a burden.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the benefits of an aging population outweigh the drawbacks. The ideas are relevant, such as the value of experience in politics and mentorship. However, the development is somewhat limited; the arguments are presented in a general way without specific examples or deeper analysis. For instance, the point about 'foreign investors' is a good start but lacks elaboration. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete evidence or detailed explanations to support your claims, ensuring that the discussion remains focused on the societal impact rather than just individual attributes.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a central theme. You use cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'One of the possible reason', and 'Despite the above arguments' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and sentence-level flow, such as the slightly awkward phrasing in the conclusion: 'someone has become older and retire from workplace which doesn't indicate that they become useless'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall flow and coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'senior citizens', 'well-being', and 'asset'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'indroduce' (spelling error), 'give some necessary avdice' (should be 'provide valuable advice'), and 'contribute to develop' (should be 'contribute to the development of'). While these errors do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring correct spelling of key terms.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('ageing population are', 'one of the possible reason') and awkward phrasing ('which quality is necessary'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are instances where sentence structure is slightly disjointed. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and refining your use of relative clauses. Increasing the frequency of error-free complex sentences will significantly boost your score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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