Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many nations, individuals are now living more than past decades. Some people say that older generation creates difficulty for authorities. while other argue that, if they had elder people society get more benfits. This statement has valid advantages rather than negative points so this essay will explain every points in forthcoming paragraphs.
In today worlds, older population live more than ever so this would be beneficial for young generations. To explain, older people have better experiences and share there knowlegde with the advanced society. For example, in past decades people don't have their grandparents to teach their younger childrens and take care them and tells some previous stories. As a result, people distract from their culture and traditions because no one here to explain the history. However, Older generation teach some facts about how to being a good human being in the society beacuse adults catch good habits from tehir elder one but now their parents have sedantary lifestyle so they dont have time to teach ethical values to their children.
On the other hand, aging people creates various problems for government because they want to give the pension (senior citizens fund). To illustrate, government needs to spend more money to give time to time their old age pension so this create the expenditure and also they want to do creates more health schemes for older community. For instance, in every country authoritiy needed to give better health care for elder people and spend a lot money to give free facility for sixty plus individuals. Due to this, it will create more burden on the legislation for collect more funding to the society.
In conclusion, society gets benefit from knowing their heritage or culture.however, it effected to the economy to increase their spending on health care or givving more facilities.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and the problems associated with an aging population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited and repetitive. While you clearly state your position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the supporting arguments—such as the role of grandparents in teaching culture—are not fully explored or supported with concrete, real-world examples. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not effectively synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a deeper analysis of the points raised rather than just listing them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the awkward transition 'while other argue that' and the repetitive use of 'to explain' and 'to illustrate'. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the subject 'they' is ambiguous. The flow between sentences is occasionally disrupted by these issues, making the progression of ideas feel somewhat disjointed. Improving the variety and precision of linking words would significantly enhance the readability of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'living more than past decades' instead of 'living longer' and 'sedantary lifestyle' (spelled incorrectly). You also rely on basic vocabulary like 'good habits' and 'better experiences'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated collocations and academic vocabulary, and pay closer attention to spelling, as errors like 'knowlegde', 'tehir', and 'givving' occur throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('older generation teach', 'aging people creates'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several run-on sentences and misused commas. While the meaning is generally clear, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for subject-verb agreement and article usage would be a highly effective way to improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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