Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many regions, people live longer ages as compared to the past. Some people believe that aging is creating population increase which is causing trouble for government. Whereas, other believe that more aged individuals means more experienced professionals which is beneficial for the society. I completely agree with the latter opinion because they can make a strong family structure and youngsters can learn from their experiences.
Firstly, better food and health awareness has improved the living standards of the individuals in the society. As a result, people live longer as compared to the past. Some individuals believe that aged peoples are occupying more health resources when they get old and they are a burden on the government. A survey conducted in the China in 2015, the proportion of health resources occupied by senior citizens are increased by twenty percent over the past two years because of increased aging factor.
Secondly, most of the peoples struggle in the start of their career. They become useful for the organization after 50's because of their vast experience. Their experience can be beneficial for the society. For example, Pakistan Armed forces offer job opportunities for retired individual because of their experience and new commers can learn better from them. On the other hand, senior citizens are more affective for the strong family values and adolescents can learn from their ethics.
In conclusion, more aged peoples in the society get more health resources. However, I believe that more aged people in the society are more useful as they can a strong family value system and they can contribute a lot and youngsters can get advantage from their experiences.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. You have identified both the challenges (resource strain) and the benefits (experience and family values). However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example regarding China is slightly vague and lacks a clear connection to the overall argument about whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. To improve, ensure that each supporting point is fully explained with a logical link back to your central thesis. The conclusion effectively summarizes your stance, but the body paragraphs could benefit from more depth to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, the use of linking words is sometimes repetitive or mechanical. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the transition between the discussion of health resources and the shift to professional experience. To improve, try to use a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensure that the transition between sentences feels more natural and less formulaic.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on some repetitive phrasing, such as 'aged individuals', 'aged peoples', and 'senior citizens'. There are also some minor collocation errors, such as 'live longer ages' instead of 'live longer lives' and 'new commers' (spelling error). To improve, focus on using more sophisticated synonyms and collocations related to the topic of demographics and social policy, and pay closer attention to word forms and spelling.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'other believe' (should be 'others believe'), 'a survey conducted in the China' (article error), and 'they can a strong family value system' (missing verb). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your message, they indicate a lack of control over complex structures. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and ensuring that your sentences contain all necessary components, such as main verbs.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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