Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
It is often argued that the increasing life expectancy of people has become a burden for governments. However, others maintain that elderly people are blessings for a society. I believe that the merits of having aging population totally exceeds it's demerits.
The presence of three generations in a single family creates a good bond between them, making each member feel and enjoy the company of one another. The presence of elderly people in the house provides mental support for every member. Moreover, amid the busy schedules of couples nowadays, grand parents are helping them with child caring activities. A research in Russia has found that children raised in a family with eldery people was more aware of traditional values and culture. This means eldery people are a connecting link for culture between the old and new generations. Everywhere around the world,, the scene of a grandfather and his grandson playing together fascinates everyone.
Admittedly, the cost for health and caring increases with the extended life span of people. Some people consider that there is no worth spending on eldery people by governments as they are the unproductive part of thepopulation. Moreover, with age, frustration and irritation increase in them, making it difficult for family members to handle. Not only for others, living longer imparts a lot of difficulties for an old aged individual too since their body stops functioning properly. It is evident that across many parts of the world old aged people wish to die because of extreme sufferings they go through in their later ages of life.
Hence, despite several advantages of increasing life expectancy, it's social and family advantages outweighs them.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, particularly the discussion on family bonds and cultural transmission. However, the development is somewhat uneven. While the benefits are explored with specific examples, the counter-arguments regarding the economic burden and the physical suffering of the elderly are presented but could be more deeply analysed to fully balance the essay. The conclusion is clear, but the overall depth of the argument is slightly limited, keeping it within the Band 6.5-7.0 range.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'However', 'Moreover', and 'Admittedly' are used to link ideas effectively. However, there are some minor mechanical issues, such as the double comma in 'world,, the scene' and some slightly awkward phrasing in the transition between sentences. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the central topic of each paragraph is clear, ensuring the reader can follow the argument without difficulty.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some good topic-specific collocations like 'increasing life expectancy', 'traditional values', and 'unproductive part of the population'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and form, such as 'it's' (possessive error), 'eldery' (spelling error), and 'old aged individual' (slightly unnatural phrasing). To reach a higher band, you should aim for more precise vocabulary and ensure consistent spelling. The range is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('children... was more aware') and punctuation errors (the double comma mentioned earlier). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You have attempted complex structures, but the control over them is inconsistent. Focusing on proofreading for basic errors like subject-verb agreement and possessive pronouns would significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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