Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Due to advancement in medical technologies in recent years, Data shows that individual are now living longer than before. Few finds it beneficial to society as well as country. However, many of people of country thinks that increase in older population can cause problem for governments. Despite of having few advantages, i believe that disadvantages outweigh it. The narrative ahead shall articulate both sides before reaching a rational conclusion.

Commencing with some of the benefits of having older generations in country is that older people are more experienced and knowledge. Due to this they can help younger generation in many fields. The grandparents are important in their grandchildren's life to introduce value in their life as well as to help them if parents are busy. In addition to that aged population also help society in many ways by spending time like volunteering. For example, group of older generation can work for NGOs that work for environments or run awareness programmes to increase value in society. Other benefit of older generation in country that there is motivation on them to improve medical.

One the other hand, this increase in aging population has many drawbacks on any country or government like pressure on governments for facility of medicine and this can create financial problem on any state. To expand this, older people are not contributing in states income but still they need a part of budget for medical treatment. Due to this there is one more drawback that, there can be financial burden on younger, earning generation. For example, due to increase in older generation the government pass on this burden on younger generation by increasing tax. Furthermore, if aging population is high compared to working people, county might feel shortage of working population and they have to import or invite younger people from other states.

To conclude, However, older people are important for country for good value in incoming generation as well as for societal impact, high ratio of aging people cause burden on government as well as on working population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing both advantages and disadvantages of an aging population and clearly stating a position that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. The ideas are relevant, such as the mention of intergenerational knowledge transfer and the economic burden on the state. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the point about 'motivation to improve medical' is vague and lacks sufficient explanation. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples with more specific details or logical consequences to ensure the argument is fully developed rather than just stated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Commencing with', 'In addition to that', and 'On the other hand', to guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'The narrative ahead shall articulate both sides'. Additionally, there are instances where referencing is unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The concluding paragraph is also slightly disjointed due to the repetitive use of 'However' and the lack of a strong final summary statement. Improving the variety and naturalness of your linking words will enhance the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to convey your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'NGOs', 'medical treatment', and 'financial burden'. However, there are several instances of imprecise word choice and collocation errors, such as 'individual are now living' (should be 'individuals'), 'introduce value in their life' (should be 'instill values'), and 'motivation on them to improve medical' (should be 'incentive to advance medical technology'). To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary rather than relying on basic phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Data shows that individual are', 'many of people of country thinks'), article usage ('in country', 'in states income'), and prepositional errors ('Despite of having'). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your main points, they are frequent enough to impact the overall fluency of the essay. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammar rules, particularly pluralization and the correct use of articles, and try to incorporate more complex structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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