Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, life span of people increased than before. Some people argue that aging population creates problems for governments. Others think it benefits society if there are elderly people. This is because it creates a financial pressures on government with more elders people is more pension more investment on old houses but one advantages is elders people benefits society like helping raising grandchildren while parents work and helps younger with their wisdom and life experienced. Therefore, I think elders people create a wholesome environment in the society.

One major draw back that people usually argue about is that it creates burden on government economically. If the ratio of older people exceed than younger people. It can create a financial disadvantages to government like giving pensions, investment on old houses and subsidies for elder people to bear their monthly expenses. For example, Japan has ratio of more elder people than younger. Therefore, their government is looking for more foreigners because they are facing a shortage in work labour. Thus, it can effect negatively on governments.

One advantages is that elders have more wisdom and life experienced they can gives life advices to younger generation about life or any hard situation. Another advantages is that elder people helps taking care of kids while their parents work. For example, employed people usually hired baby sitters for their babies which cost a lot of money and with elders in home you can save that money and they can look after your kids. Therefore, elders are important part of the society.

In conclusion, In believe that advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. Because they can help society as well as an individual.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout, arguing that the advantages of an aging population outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention economic burdens and social benefits like childcare and wisdom, the arguments are presented in a repetitive manner and lack depth. For instance, the point about Japan is relevant but could be expanded to explain how the government is specifically adapting. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explored with more nuanced analysis rather than just stating the benefits or drawbacks.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'One major drawback', 'Another advantages', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical and repetitive. Additionally, there are issues with referencing and sentence-level flow; for example, the phrase 'with more elders people is more pension' is grammatically disjointed, which disrupts the logical progression of the sentence. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing such as 'elders people' and 'life experienced'. There are also several word-choice errors, such as 'investment on old houses' (likely meaning 'pension schemes' or 'elderly care') and 'effect negatively' (should be 'affect'). To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to demographics and economics, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations to ensure your meaning is conveyed accurately.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('elders people is', 'ratio... exceed'), incorrect pluralization ('life experienced'), and missing articles. While the meaning is generally clear, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading your work to correct these recurring mistakes, particularly regarding plural nouns and verb tenses, and try to vary your sentence structures with more complex, error-free constructions.

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