Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In modern time, people are improve their health and regularly doing exercise for their fitness so people living long time than before and when they live longer the incresing population is big problem for government. So other think that there are benefits of living older people in society. In this essay the advantages of this statement outweigh the disadvantages.

On one hand, now People are care about their health because in this modern time pollution ratio everyday increase, So for that reason people doing everyday exercise. And also taking good nutriciens food so they live longer. And After the older age government should give some money every month to old people. This money help the family member. The government should also provide different type of facillities to older people.

On other hand, When the people has old age and they suffer from illness caring them is very difficult for family members. Parents are not paying too much attention their children because of caring the old age parent. When people are old age so they retired from jobs so the factories have sortage of workers. And when they live longer government struggle to pay money older people from many decades.

In conclusion, when the older people lives in society so they giving guidence in our life and they gives us happiness when they live with us but caring older people is hard.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt but fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you state a position in the introduction, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack specific examples or logical depth. For instance, the point about government funding is mentioned but not explained in relation to the 'advantages' or 'disadvantages' requested. The essay lacks a clear, sustained argument, and the conclusion is very brief, failing to adequately summarise the main points. To improve, ensure you expand on each point with supporting evidence and reach the required length to allow for full development of your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical progression is weak. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'On one hand' and 'On other hand'. Some sentences are disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the transition between ideas is abrupt. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea that connects logically to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. There are several errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'nutriciens food' (nutritious food) and 'pollution ratio' (pollution levels). You rely on basic vocabulary throughout the essay. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of topic-specific vocabulary related to aging populations, such as 'demographic shift', 'pension burden', or 'intergenerational support'. Focus on learning the correct collocations for the words you use to ensure your writing sounds more natural and precise.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including issues with subject-verb agreement ('people is big problem'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain errors that occasionally impede clarity, such as 'When the people has old age'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, which limits your ability to demonstrate grammatical control. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, including correct verb tenses and pluralisation. Once you are confident with these, try to incorporate more complex structures like relative clauses or conditional sentences to improve your range.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.