Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, human's health has been improved rapidly, and this makes people live longer. Many people believe that this make population increase, and a considerable number of problems will take place for country , while others think that there are variety of benifits.
When there are many elderly people in our society, we really have a valueble thing. One of the advantages, that, in this case, we have people who have a big deal of experiance in all feilds, these people work for many years and face many problems, so they can help us in many factors, For example they can take the adminstrative jobs like CEO, we will gain many benefites from this.
Another advantage, that when these people exist in the socaity, we have a lovely feelings, because we want to be more responsable, take care of them, we feel that there is an important person, we should work for him. These all feelings make us happy.
Sure, there are some problems, but most of them can solve easily. Population not only cause that there are elderiy people live with us, but also because many other problems, and we can solve it by make them usefull more than something else, this will happend by the suggestions said in pervios part.
In the end, elderly people are a significant part in the society, they were helping us for a long time, so we should pay this back. If they want to work, we should give them the chance and learn from them and teach them if they need teaching.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention experience and emotional benefits, the points are not fully extended or supported with concrete examples. The discussion of disadvantages is particularly vague, as you do not specify what these problems are, merely stating they can be solved easily. To improve, you should provide more detailed explanations and specific real-world examples to support your arguments, ensuring a more balanced and thorough exploration of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is sometimes hindered by unclear transitions and repetitive phrasing. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Another advantage' and 'In the end', the connection between sentences is occasionally mechanical. The referencing is sometimes ambiguous, such as in the phrase 'these all feelings make us happy', which lacks a clear antecedent. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that flows naturally into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'benifits', 'valueble', 'experiance', 'feilds', 'adminstrative', 'socaity', and 'pervios'. Additionally, some word choices are imprecise, such as 'lovely feelings' or 'make them usefull'. To improve, you should work on expanding your range of academic vocabulary and pay closer attention to spelling and collocations. Using more sophisticated synonyms for common words will help demonstrate a better command of the language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('this make population increase'), article usage ('for country'), and awkward phrasing ('Population not only cause that there are elderiy people live with us'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several comma splices and run-on sentences. To improve, focus on mastering complex sentence structures, such as using relative clauses and conditional sentences, and proofread carefully to correct basic errors in verb tense and pluralization.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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