Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In these days, individuals are getting more aware about their health and life, as a result their are various nations in which life span has increased, most of the people are living longer than previous decades. Some people point out that older people are troublesome for government, whilst, there are many other individuals which claims that elderly people are beneficial for society, their are more merits of this as they harmonise the society provide guidance.
To start with, there are various merits of having elderly people in the society, the prominent is that they ensure harmony of society, as these days individuals are so busy in there hectic lives they do not get to talk with each other or spend much time, whereas, elderly people try to make sure that they do not lose their ethics or culture they unite the societies by talking with them and with children.For example, in many Asian countries like Japan and Vietnam elderly people are the one who ensure that everything is harmonised they try to make sure their culture and ethics never die.
Furthermore, elderly people provide guidance for younger people as they have lived many years they have more experience and they share their experience motivates youth and provide a path for them to live a good life.For instance, in India elderly people of the family are given huge respect and every decision is made by considering their views as they have more wisdom and experience than younger generations.
To conclude, as older people are very beneficial for our society as they ensure that ethics and moral values of humans are not being exploited and everyone is in harmony, additionally, they provide guidance for younger generation motivates them gives solution. As their is a high degree of advantages of this notion, so the merits of this notion outweighs the demerits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and the implied challenges of an aging population. However, the development is somewhat unbalanced. While you clearly argue that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the 'disadvantages' are only mentioned in the introduction as 'troublesome for government' and are not explored or countered in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, you must provide specific examples or arguments regarding the challenges (such as healthcare costs or pension burdens) and then explain why the benefits are more significant. The position is clear, but the support for the opposing view is missing.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'To start with,' 'Furthermore,' and 'To conclude' to signal the structure. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by repetitive phrasing and run-on sentences. For example, the second paragraph relies heavily on comma splices, which makes the connection between ideas feel mechanical rather than fluid. Improving the use of subordinating conjunctions and punctuation would help the ideas transition more smoothly.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'merits,' 'good,' and 'troublesome.' There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'harmonise the society' (which is slightly unnatural) and 'their are' (a spelling error for 'there are'). To improve, try to incorporate more academic collocations and precise terminology related to demographics and social policy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
There is a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but the accuracy is inconsistent. You frequently use comma splices, such as '...hectic lives they do not get to talk...' and '...lived many years they have more experience...'. These errors occur throughout the essay. Additionally, there are persistent subject-verb agreement issues and confusion between 'their' and 'there.' While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these grammatical errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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