Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-26
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
It is often an argue.Some people think that an aging population creates problem for government.In some countries,where young legs are less than aging people.They commonly face shortage of labour community.In industrial sector,they oftenly require young people for hardwork.The recent world wide_serve on aging people illustrate that korea have 60 percent of population over than 70 years.In condition, they face shortage of skilled workers.As result,company owners call workers on highly salaries from different countries.Japan are also facing same kind of allusions.Serve showes that if you have no population of young people more than fifty to sixty percent such countries will face deficieny of skilled workers in diferent fields. On the other hand,aging people is benifical for the society.In some prospective,aged people give experience to young boys and girls in different fields and working categories.Such people are maker of the society.They have huge impact on society.They are asset of the society.Some times,advices are benifical for older generation.they play big role in the progrees fo economy by giving good advices to young educated people.The society who respects their elder never fell down.In Saudia Arabia,they make statue in different streets of those elder people who was contributed for our countries in different era.This gives motivation to young generation for young peoples.If they will do best for their country.They will always remeber. So,an aging people people have benifical impact in some prospective.However,some times they creates problem in different sectors.Governments of many developed nations are doing things to overcome these problems and manage the society to create possible solutions.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the development is limited. The arguments regarding the labor shortage and the role of the elderly as mentors are relevant but lack depth and specific, accurate supporting evidence. For instance, the claim about Korea having 60 percent of its population over 70 is factually unsupported and distracts from the argument. The position is somewhat clear, but the conclusion is repetitive and does not fully synthesize the points made. To improve, you should focus on providing logical, well-explained examples rather than unsupported statistics.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is often disjointed. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'On the other hand', 'As result'), they are sometimes used incorrectly or mechanically. The referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the transition between the discussion of labor shortages and the benefits of the elderly. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs lacks a logical progression of ideas. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'young legs' instead of 'young people' or 'allusions' instead of 'challenges'. Phrases like 'maker of the society' and 'fell down' are not idiomatic in this context. While the meaning is generally understandable, the lack of precision and the reliance on basic vocabulary prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on learning collocations and using more academic vocabulary to express complex ideas more accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are persistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'aging people is benifical', 'Japan are also facing'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on. While there is an attempt at complex sentence structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly regarding spacing after periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically ensuring that subjects and verbs agree and that sentences are complete thoughts.
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