Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In many nations, it is acknowledged that the individuals now have more longer life than their ancestors, some believe that more elder population create challenges for the authorities. where others individuals claim that society as unparalleled benefits from older generation. In this essay, first I will discuss both pros and cons related to this, after deduce whether their advantages outweigh the drawbacks.

There are several benefits related to this. First and foremost, in many fields the experience play an essential role many youngsters prefer to take their future advised from their elder family members. Moreover, the older people carries a lot of information of their ancestors and culture heritage, which they pass new generations through creative stories. In societies if have more older people it may more balanced life because they know more social norms. For a example, a experienced teacher have many methods to explain the tough topic in a easy way to the students, which may children find their interest in a very convenient way. ==

On the flip side, it has also some downsides as well if the nation has more older generation. To commence with, the significant number of elder people may create problem for government it may burden to health care system and authorities will pay more on pensions. To elaborate it, older people have weak immunity system, which due to they face various kind of diseases and it may higher chance that disease spread among younger people.

In conclusion, it is apparent from the above discussion that, the higher number of older people bring some problems for society and government. However, I believe that their advantages outweigh their drawbacks, because experienced people helps in society balanced to create social norms.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, including the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population and a clear personal position. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'burden on the healthcare system' is mentioned but not fully explored with specific examples or logical depth. The conclusion is brief and lacks a summary of the main points discussed. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more detailed explanations and concrete examples for each point, ensuring that the link between your arguments and the overall position is more robustly established.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices such as 'First and foremost', 'Moreover', and 'On the flip side' to guide the reader. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical, and there are instances where the flow between sentences is slightly disjointed, such as in the second paragraph where the transition between cultural heritage and social norms feels abrupt. Improving the variety and sophistication of your linking words will help create a more natural and fluid argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'more longer life' instead of 'longer lives' and 'take their future advised' instead of 'seek advice for their future'. Additionally, phrases like 'older people carries a lot of information' contain subject-verb agreement errors that affect the quality of the expression. To improve, focus on learning collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary rather than relying on basic descriptors.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'experience play', 'older people carries'), article usage (e.g., 'the individuals'), and sentence construction (e.g., 'which due to they face'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally cause the reader to pause, though they do not completely impede communication. To improve, you should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with verb tenses and pluralization, and practice constructing more complex sentences with correct punctuation.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.