Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In contemporary era, senior citizens life is became very convenient due to technological advancement. In numerous nations , individuals life expectancy goes higher then past years. Few citizens believe an older population creates predicaments for authorizations. This essay will articulate the both bright and dark side .
To commence with , predominate reason for advantages that, technological advancement individuals life expectancy ratio increased so, people do not have to suffer from more pain . For instance, advancement in the screening of cancer disease , citizens now able to cure it in the early stage . Secondly, awareness regarding maintenance of hygiene play pivotal role in the healthy life .To exemplify, by organizing campaigns on the root level to central level individuals have a knowledge of what the hygiene maintenance techniques.
However, there is a dark side to the first point of view, some times senior citizens only occupy the large land areas and not fruitful to the society. For in stance, when we dive into the temple and religious place all the area is conquered by them. Secondly, to maintain the healthiness of senior citizens youngsters have to invest their time and energy both . Evidently, one study show that around 58% of youngsters give their time in the maintenance if aging people because they need extra care.
To recapitulate, senior citizens create the issues . There is advancement like machinery advancement and awareness regarding hygiene maintenance and dark side like enormous portion is occupy by senior citizens and investment of huge amount of money and time behind the maintenance of healthiness of ageing population.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the benefits and drawbacks of an aging population. However, the position is not clearly stated or maintained throughout the essay. While the prompt asks to what extent the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the conclusion fails to provide a clear verdict, instead merely summarizing the points mentioned. Some ideas, such as the claim that elderly people 'conquer' religious places, are underdeveloped and lack logical relevance to the broader societal impact of aging. To improve, you should ensure your position is clear in the introduction and consistently supported by relevant, well-explained arguments throughout the body paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'To commence with' and 'To recapitulate'. The progression of ideas within paragraphs is sometimes disjointed; for example, the transition between the benefits of hygiene and the drawbacks of elderly people occupying space is abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences is hindered by awkward phrasing. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to create a smoother narrative flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'predicaments for authorizations' (instead of 'challenges for governments') and 'conquered by them' (instead of 'occupied by them'). The phrase 'bright and dark side' is somewhat informal for an academic essay. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the lack of precision and the reliance on basic vocabulary prevent the response from reaching a higher band. You should focus on learning topic-specific collocations and using more precise academic terminology to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('senior citizens life is became'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple or contain structural errors, such as 'predominate reason for advantages that, technological advancement individuals life expectancy ratio increased so'. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is inconsistent. To improve, you should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring correct verb tenses, and practicing the use of complex sentences with accurate conjunctions and relative clauses to enhance the sophistication of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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