Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, in many nations across the world, individuals live longer than they used to live before. Some people argue that these elderly people create issues for governments, whereas, a fewer oppose this thought and believe that there are advantages of having significant numbers of old aged individuals in any country. In my opinion, benefits of having aged population are so far more than the problems they cause.

First of all, Due to good diet and healthcare facilities in this modern era unabled people to live longer, which resulted in over population of aged individuals. This population has put extra burden on the government in terms of pentions and extra amenities i.e., medical allowance they need. Government, for instance, has to provide some money on its own to elderly people and in return they get zero financial benefits out of them, which results in degradation of economy of that country.

On the contrary, grandparents offer moral support as well as they keep traditional values of a nation, live. For example, young parents, due to their hectic routine, hardly find time to bring up their children on their own and teach them about their culture, and this task is performed by our old aged group. Furthermore, if retired people take part in some volunteer work or job, which do not require much physical effort like in teaching, would help the children to get exposure of those experiences, which older people earned in their whole life and this will assist our young minds to succeed in their lives.

To conclude, undeniably, there are some perks as well as disadvantages of having more elderly people but the benefits they offer like, protecting cultural heritage and sharing their knowledge, outweigh the minor disadvantages like not participating in GDP of the country they are living in.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, such as the economic burden of pensions versus the social value of grandparents in child-rearing. However, the development is somewhat limited; for instance, the economic argument is a bit simplistic, stating that elderly people provide 'zero financial benefits,' which overlooks their historical contributions or current consumption. To reach a higher band, the arguments could be more nuanced and supported with more sophisticated examples. Overall, the position is consistent throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the disadvantages and advantages. Cohesive devices are present, such as 'First of all,' 'On the contrary,' and 'Furthermore,' which help guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition into the second body paragraph is clear, but the internal structure of the first body paragraph is a bit repetitive regarding the government's financial burden. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'degradation of economy' and 'cultural heritage.' However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'unabled people to live longer' (which is grammatically incorrect and lexically awkward) and 'pentions' (spelling error). The phrase 'old aged individuals' is also slightly unnatural. To improve, the student should focus on more precise collocations and ensure spelling accuracy for key terms.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. For example, 'Due to good diet... unabled people to live longer' is a fragmented sentence structure. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage, such as 'degradation of economy of that country' (missing articles) and 'which do not require' (referring to 'job' in the singular). Despite these errors, the student demonstrates an attempt at complex structures, which is a positive sign, but more consistent control is needed for a higher band.

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