Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Nowadays, in numerous countries, most social problems related to teenagers are caused by limited time, which parents spend with their children because of their busy work hours. I will discuss this statement below and give my opinion about this topic in the essay below.

I firmly believe that the fact that parents spend less time with their children can trigger their independent behaviour. For instance, when a teenager is under of his/her parents control, they conform all rules in order to not to be scolded. However, when parents stop controlling them, they can be negatively. influenced by peers or social media. To illustrate, these teens start to dispute with their parents or even they use inappropriate phrases. Moreover, their life path can be altered, as they commence to shun mainstream and frequently they don't realize the consequences of their actions.

Another reason is the shortage of serious discussions that they have with parents. Sometimes all teenagers go through mental, physical or intellectual matters. In this cases, they need advice of more experienced adults. They aren't able to share personal experience and problems, due to hectic routines of parents.Therefore, they can encounter with depression or anger. Subsequently they tend to make false steps. Their brawl or protests are usually because they resent and they are defenseless. In addition, sometimes, they literally stay alone with their issues and can be perplexed in finding a proper solution. So, this is a quite important reason for this that shoud be highlighted.

In conclusion, I absolutely support the idea that the absence of parents, effects negatively to teenagers attitude and it leads to serious problems in their lives.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 2.0

The response is completely off-topic. The prompt asks for a discussion on the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population. However, the essay discusses the impact of parents spending limited time with their children and the resulting social problems for teenagers. Because the essay fails to address the prompt entirely, it cannot be assessed against the task requirements for the specific topic provided. In an actual examination, this would result in a very low score for Task Achievement as the candidate has not responded to the set question at all.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'For instance', 'However', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion'. While these devices are present, the logical progression is undermined by the fact that the content is irrelevant to the prompt. The paragraphing is functional, but the overall structure does not serve the purpose of answering the task question. The referencing is generally clear, but the lack of relevance to the topic makes the overall coherence ineffective.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for expressing simple ideas, but it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'conform all rules', 'negatively influenced', and 'commence to shun mainstream'. While the vocabulary is sufficient to communicate the student's (off-topic) ideas, it does not demonstrate the flexibility or the use of less common lexical items expected at a higher level. Spelling is generally accurate, but the range is limited.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'under of his/her parents control', 'they can be negatively. influenced', 'in this cases', and 'they can encounter with depression'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the placement of periods and commas. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. The control of complex structures is inconsistent.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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