Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
The advancements in medical field has helped improve a person's lifespan. In the olden times, the average age of living was around 55 years whereas, today it went above 65 years age.This had led to population crisis where the death rates are less and the birth rates are increasingly high which is also known as population explosion.
One of the major concerns of having much older population for governments firstly, is they can't contribute in growing economy. As compared to young adults, an aging population can't help in new advancements in the fields of research, business, science, academia. No new innovation takes place due to a number of reasons, as they aren't updated on trends and they believe in conventional methods rather than modifying it. For example, Japan's aging population is more than younger generation, hence, they are in desperate need of bright young minds who can contribute to their country.
Secondly, the government has to waste its resources like food, energy, water and living space on an aging person more than other generations. It is because, due to population rise, not every person is able to access all resources. If we compare, it is better to provide those resources to younger generations as they can still contribute to society. For example, if we provide facilities to a poor child, when grownup as an adult they can help work towards improving the economy.
On the other hand, an aging population preserves our culture. They teach upcoming generations values, skills and knowledge necessary. They teach their children basic etiquettes required.
I believe the advantages of having aging population do not outweigh the disadvantages as the governments require minds who can help them improve, develop and innovate.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth in its development. While you clearly state your position that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages, the arguments are somewhat over-generalized and lack sufficient supporting evidence. For instance, the claim that elderly people cannot contribute to the economy ignores the roles of mentorship, volunteerism, and the 'silver economy.' The discussion on the advantages is very brief, consisting of only two sentences, which fails to balance the essay effectively. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced examples and ensure both sides of the argument are explored with equal rigor.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is sometimes hindered by abrupt transitions. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly' and 'Secondly,' but the connection between the introduction and the body paragraphs is weak. The final paragraph is very short, which disrupts the overall flow of the argument. Additionally, some referencing is unclear; for example, in the second paragraph, the phrase 'due to population rise' is used to explain resource scarcity, but it is not clearly linked to the aging population specifically. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on some repetitive phrasing, such as 'aging population' and 'contribute to society.' There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'average age of living' instead of 'life expectancy' and 'population explosion' which is used slightly inaccurately in this context. While the meaning is clear throughout, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions to demonstrate a wider range of lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'The advancements in medical field has helped' (subject-verb agreement error), 'average age of living was around 55 years whereas, today it went above 65 years age' (awkward phrasing and punctuation), and 'aging population is more than younger generation' (incorrect comparison). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your points, they indicate a need for more careful proofreading and a better grasp of article usage and sentence construction.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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