Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is true that in numerous countries, the individual are living longer than ever before. Some people tell that aging population makes a issues for the higher authorities however on the other hand some people believe that having a more aged masses in society have many benefits.

To begin with, there are many disadvantages of having a old age people create a big problems. Firstly, increased in number of population. To elaborate it, rise in population make a huge problem correspondingly shortage in food in addition to it lack of place to live. Secondly, falls in budget of the country, since in every country government provide a old age pension to everyone for their survival and if they continuously gave them pension it’s going to bring a big fall in budget.

Additional to it, there are many advantages of having a aged people, they have survived a many problems in their past life so if their is any people in the future we can solve it with the experience of those people how they survive this in their youth. Secondly, old people usually, have a sharp memory so we can solve issues with the help of them.

To conclude it, having a aged people in society have many advantages and disadvantages on their own basis. Also, people have their own viewpoint about it since some think that it is hard for government to handle a lot of people but on the other hand some think that they can help in many situation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the problems and benefits of an aging population. However, the development of ideas is limited and lacks depth. For instance, the argument regarding 'shortage in food' due to population growth is not clearly linked to the aging population itself, and the points about 'sharp memory' are vague. The position is somewhat unclear, as the conclusion merely restates that there are advantages and disadvantages without explicitly stating which side outweighs the other. To improve, you should provide more specific, logical examples and ensure your position is clearly maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as 'Additional to it' and 'To elaborate it'. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly within the body paragraphs where the transition between points is abrupt. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as the use of 'those people' or 'this' without a precise antecedent. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words and ensuring clear logical flow between sentences would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'big problems' or 'many'. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'aged masses', 'individual are living', and 'provide a old age pension'. Some phrases are grammatically incorrect, which hinders the precision of your expression. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more academic vocabulary and collocations appropriate for an IELTS essay, and ensure that words are used in their correct form and context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the individual are living', 'population make a huge problem') and article usage (e.g., 'a issues', 'a old age people'). The sentence structures are predominantly simple, with limited attempts at complex sentences. When complex structures are attempted, they often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of articles, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

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