Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

There is considerably , in many countries people are currently living more years rather than before. Beside some people debut that if more grow population so it is creates many issues for governments and societies but some people argue that older people are benefits in societies. So, i think both are largely extent advantages and disadvantages.

First of all, in earlier age people are stay long live because they have live in peaceful environment and eating a good meal and working strongly hard. besides now days scientist have find new medicine of heavy disease and illness. Including dengue, malaria, cancer and many other disease. So i think it is more benificial

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 111 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. The position is stated in the introduction, but the arguments are severely underdeveloped and lack the necessary depth or supporting examples required for an academic essay. The content is too brief to explore the complexities of an aging population, and the response does not provide a balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages as requested by the prompt. To improve, you must expand your ideas with specific examples and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay lacks a clear logical structure. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas do not flow logically from one to the next. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and often inaccurate, such as the misuse of 'Beside' and 'So' at the start of sentences. The referencing is unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of your argument. To improve, focus on using transition words correctly to link your ideas and ensure each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that supports your main thesis.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly, which hinders communication. Examples include 'debut' instead of 'debate', 'grow population' instead of 'aging population', and 'heavy disease' instead of 'serious diseases'. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. You rely on basic, repetitive language. To improve, focus on learning collocations and the correct context for academic terms. Expanding your vocabulary through reading academic articles will help you use words more precisely and naturally in your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede understanding. There are significant issues with sentence structure, such as 'There is considerably , in many countries people are currently living...', which is fragmented and ungrammatical. Subject-verb agreement and tense usage are also inconsistent, for example, 'scientist have find new medicine'. Punctuation is frequently misused, particularly with commas. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors. You need to focus on mastering basic sentence construction before attempting more complex structures.

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