Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
According to some people, older citizens create a barden for the government whereas some other believe that they can bring about positive oucomes for the society. In my opinion the advantages considerably outweight the disadvantages.
Undoubtedly, longevity has result in an increase in the ability of people to work longer. As a result, they remain financially stable to meet their needs and demands without having to depend on other people. Furthermore, being employed abstrain them from leading a lonely life, which as a result prevent depression and mental exhaustion. Apart from that, elderly people tend to possess a great deal of knowledge and experience which can enhance the productivity of the company, leading to incread GDP. Moreover, if they can accumulate their finances on their own, it reduces pressure on government because government do not need to provide them with benefits and facilities.
On the contrary, the older people might create some problems as well. In the job sector, there will be a great deal of competetion between the youth and them. As a result, younger people will be demotivated since experienced people are prioritized in the employment sector. Another important issue is that if the elderly individuals choose not to work, the government need to bear the responsibilities from them. Consequently, it will create a nation problem. Government also need to spend more on health sector.
Though there are several disadvantages, if older people can contribute to the society the benefits arising from their contribution will be more.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses both sides of the argument and presents a clear position. However, the response is 249 words long, failing the 250-word minimum requirement. This minor omission impacts the task achievement score. While the ideas are relevant, some points, such as the 'nation problem' or the impact on the health sector, are under-developed and lack specific examples or depth. To reach a higher band, ensure that each argument is fully extended with concrete evidence or logical consequences, and always ensure you meet the minimum word count to avoid a penalty.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Undoubtedly', 'Furthermore', 'Apart from that', and 'On the contrary' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, but the progression of ideas could be more sophisticated. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the conclusion is quite abrupt and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented in the body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but there are several spelling errors that detract from the quality, such as 'barden' (burden), 'oucomes' (outcomes), 'abstrain' (abstain), 'incread' (increased), and 'competetion' (competition). These errors are noticeable but do not prevent the reader from understanding the message. The range of vocabulary is somewhat limited; using more precise academic collocations would improve the score. For example, instead of 'create some problems', using 'pose significant challenges' would demonstrate a higher level of lexical control.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical inaccuracies, such as 'longevity has result in' (has resulted in), 'government do not need' (government does not need), and 'responsibilities from them' (responsibilities for them). While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and correct verb tense usage. The sentence variety is sufficient for a band 6, but more complex, error-free structures are needed to move into the band 7 range.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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