Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
According to some people, older citizens create a barden for the government whereas some other believe that they can bring about positive oucomes for the society. In my opinion the advantages considerably outweight the disadvantages.
Undoubtedly, longevity has result in an increase in the ability of people to work longer. As a result, they remain financially stable to meet their needs and demands without having to depend on other people. Furthermore, being employed abstrain them from leading a lonely life, which as a result prevent depression and mental exhaustion. Apart from that, elderly people tend to possess a great deal of knowledge and experience which can enhance the productivity of the company, leading to incread GDP. Moreover, if they can accumulate their finances on their own, it reduces pressure on government because government do not need to provide them with benefits and facilities.
On the contrary, the older people might create some problems as well. In the job sector, there will be a great deal of competetion between the youth and them. As a result, younger people will be demotivated since experienced people are prioritized in the employment sector. Another important issue is that if the elderly individuals choose not to work, the government need to bear the responsibilities from them. Consequently, it will create a nation problem. Government also need to spend more on health sector.
Though there are several disadvantages, if older people can contribute to the society the benefits arising from their contribution will be more.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the response is slightly under the 250-word minimum, which impacts the development of ideas. While the arguments regarding economic productivity and government burden are relevant, they are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. The conclusion is also quite brief. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples and ensure that your arguments are fully explored to meet the length requirement and provide a more comprehensive analysis of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Apart from that', and 'On the contrary' to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the final paragraph is underdeveloped, which affects the overall coherence of the argument. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a strong, unified focus will help improve this score.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, such as 'longevity', 'financially stable', and 'productivity'. However, there are several spelling errors, including 'barden' (burden), 'oucomes' (outcomes), 'abstrain' (abstain), 'incread' (increased), and 'competetion' (competition). These errors are noticeable and detract from the professional tone of the essay. To improve, focus on proofreading your work to catch these common spelling mistakes and try to incorporate more precise academic collocations to enhance your lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'longevity has result in' (has resulted in), 'government do not need' (government does not need), and 'responsibilities from them' (responsibilities for them). While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they are frequent enough to impact the overall accuracy. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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