Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

According to some people, older citizens create a barden for the government whereas some other believe that they can bring about positive oucomes for the society. In my opinion the advantages considerably outweight the disadvantages.

Undoubtedly, longevity has result in an increase in the ability of people to work longer. As a result, they remain financially stable to meet their needs and demands without having to depend on other people. Furthermore, being employed abstrain them from leading a lonely life, which as a result prevent depression and mental exhaustion. Apart from that, elderly people tend to possess a great deal of knowledge and experience which can enhance the productivity of the company, leading to incread GDP. Moreover, if they can accumulate their finances on their own, it reduces pressure on government because government do not need to provide them with benefits and facilities.

On the contrary, the older people might create some problems as well. In the job sector, there will be a great deal of competetion between the youth and them. As a result, younger people will be demotivated since experienced people are prioritized in the employment sector. Another important issue is that if the elderly individuals choose not to work, the government need to bear the responsibilities from them. Consequently, it will create a nation problem. Government also need to spend more on health sector.

Though there are several disadvantages, if older people can contribute to the society the benefits arising from their contribution will be more.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the response falls just short of the 250-word minimum, which necessitates a penalty. While the ideas are relevant, some points, such as the 'nation problem' or the impact on the health sector, are under-developed and lack specific examples or depth. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a more thorough explanation of the consequences mentioned, and aim to expand the word count slightly to ensure all aspects of the prompt are fully explored.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Undoubtedly', 'Furthermore', 'Apart from that', and 'On the contrary' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally mechanical, and some transitions feel repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, though the connection between the final sentence of the second paragraph and the rest of the argument is slightly abrupt. The structure is sufficient for a coherent response, but more sophisticated linking words would improve the overall flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task, but there are several spelling errors that detract from the quality, such as 'barden' (burden), 'oucomes' (outcomes), 'abstrain' (abstain), 'incread' (increased), and 'competetion' (competition). These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'financially stable' and 'productivity', the lack of precision in word choice and the spelling issues limit the score. To reach a higher band, focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and incorporating more precise academic collocations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text, such as 'some other believe' (others believe), 'longevity has result' (has resulted), 'government do not need' (the government does not need), and 'responsibilities from them' (responsibilities for them). These errors do not generally impede communication, but they are frequent. The control over subject-verb agreement and verb tenses needs improvement. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring accuracy in basic grammar will help elevate the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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