Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

The advancement of medical science has improved the average life expectancy of people in most countries. Several diseases that were not cureable in the past are now preventable. Vaccines and advanced treatments has updated the quality of life. Even though some people think it is a positive change as society benefits more if there are more elderly people, as they have the wisdom many of us still cease to acquire. Many individuals do not agree with this as an ageing population creates few

issues for the government.

The benefits are considerable. Elderly people are the roots of a society. They have the experiene and knowledge of time. Most of them had a significant contribution to the improvement of our surroudings. In many cases, they tend to have solutions quicker than most of us. Families still gather because of their presence. They are one of the main reason people value interpersonal relationships.

The drawbacks, are however equally concerning. The goverment has a limited fund for the elderly. As most ageing people are not able to do any physical labour, they depend on the government financed support system. The increasing number of elderly is becoming a problem cause of the insufficient funds. For example- in Japan there are more old people compared to children. Their birth rate is decreasing in an alarming rate. Their government is facing difficulties to support the elderly properly. If this continues according to research the entire populaton of Japan might face the rise of tax. This can prove to be a major drawback for the young working adults.

Therefore, if we try to compare the advantages to the disadvantages of the ageing problem we can conclude that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages in every aspect.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

You have addressed all parts of the prompt, providing both the advantages and disadvantages of an aging population and clearly stating your position that the disadvantages outweigh the benefits. The ideas are relevant, particularly the example of Japan, which helps illustrate the economic burden. However, the development of the 'advantages' section is somewhat thin; while you mention wisdom and family values, these points could be expanded with more specific examples or deeper analysis to reach a higher band. Your position is consistent throughout the essay, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'Even though', 'However', and 'For example', to link ideas. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes a bit mechanical, and there are instances where transitions could be smoother. For example, the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the use of 'this' in the final paragraph, which could be more explicitly linked to the preceding argument to improve the overall cohesion.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'life expectancy', 'interpersonal relationships', and 'insufficient funds'. There are some spelling errors, such as 'cureable' (curable), 'experiene' (experience), 'surroudings' (surroundings), and 'populaton' (population), which are noticeable. While these do not impede communication, they prevent a higher score. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic collocations and ensure careful proofreading to eliminate minor spelling slips that detract from the professional tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Vaccines and advanced treatments has updated' should be 'have updated') and awkward phrasing ('at an alarming rate' instead of 'in an alarming rate'). Punctuation is generally functional, though there are some unnecessary commas, such as in 'The drawbacks, are however equally concerning'. While these errors are frequent, they rarely impede the reader's understanding of your main points.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.