Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.

To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Across the world, there is an increase in life expectancy.People live longer than they would normally do, most probably it is as a result of improved health care services brought about by advanced technology.

While some individuals believe that an aging population may cause problems for the state ,others are of the notion that it is beneficial for society to have more elderly people.

To begin with, old people have vast experience in life and have grown wiser over the years and their wisdom could highly benefit the emerging generation. For instance among elderly people there are a few who have made mistakes when growing up such as teenage pregnacies.There are well aware of the repurcassions that come with being a school dropout because you have to raise a child at home as a teenager. They are the best people to include in awareness programs against teenage pregnancies because they are able to explicitly express the consequences of such mistakes and help young adults to make right choices while they still can.

Secondly elderly people in the society possess a skill in bringing a sense of belonging in a community because they become familiar with almost everyone in the neighbourhood. This is essential for making a place feel like home.They are also the backbone of the society that community members can go to for emotional support in times of difficulties, for example when one has lost a loved one.

On the contrary elderly people can be an expense to the government because they require high maintainance.They become frail, weak and they contribute less to the economy because most of them are retired. Government has to continually come in to aid them financially ,give them food and waive medical costs because they do not have an income. Here in South Africa they recieve money every month and its expensive for the country and maybe unsustainable in the long run.

Though it maybe costly to have an elderly generation in our societies it does not outweigh their irreplaceable rolethey play in our societies.They are the ones who bring dignity and sanity into our societies by guiding us .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing both sides of the argument and a clear personal position. The ideas are relevant, particularly the points regarding the wisdom of the elderly and the economic burden on the state. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. The example regarding teenage pregnancy is a bit specific and could be more broadly linked to societal guidance. While the position is clear, the conclusion could be more robust in synthesising the arguments presented. Overall, the response meets the requirements of the task well, but could benefit from deeper analysis of the 'advantages' beyond just wisdom and community support.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organised into clear paragraphs, each focusing on a distinct aspect of the topic. The use of cohesive devices such as 'To begin with', 'Secondly', and 'On the contrary' helps guide the reader through the argument. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing within paragraphs could be smoother. For instance, the link between the elderly providing emotional support and the broader community cohesion is clear, but the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'irreplaceable', 'sustainability', and 'repurcassions' (noting the spelling error). However, there are instances of word-choice inaccuracies and spelling mistakes, such as 'maintainance' and 'pregnacies'. The range is sufficient to convey the intended meaning, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band score. Improving the accuracy of spelling and using more precise collocations would elevate the lexical quality.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent errors in punctuation and grammar, such as missing spaces after periods (e.g., 'state ,others'), subject-verb agreement issues, and missing articles (e.g., 'Government has to...'). These errors do not impede communication, but they are noticeable. The writer uses some complex structures, but they are not always error-free. To improve, the writer should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical slips and ensuring consistent punctuation throughout the text.

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