Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-30
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Lifespan of people are surge in various different nations as compared to previous years. Group of people argue that it generates several negative consequences for governing body whereas on the different side of people believes that older people are very important for society.While this trend provide some disadvantage like larger population and high consumption of resource, although it also bring some positive point such as longer lifespan with friends and family and advice from elder person's life.
On the one hand ,people who against with aging of population argue that it creates several problem and difficulties such as rise of population in the world.For instance ,there are so many examples of various nations who are deal with overcrowd.Moreover it creates competition in job market and rate of unemployment is increased after overpopulation.After that governments have deal with resource crisis in food and housing department that cannot provide equal opportunity to every citizens of nation.
On the other side of people believe that elder people are as important as younger generation.It provides longer lifespan with friends and family.People should enjoy their lifer more and more year.Moreover ,elder people creates good environment among society and suggest good advice from their own idea.For example japan have more elder people rather than other countries, it is evident that happiness index of nation highest among all over the world.
To conclude,I believe that elder people are much important as youth and aging has some advantage yet disadvantages are more as compared to advantages, several issues like resource crisis and unemployment are create by aging of popuila
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout, concluding that the disadvantages outweigh the advantages. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention resource crises and unemployment as disadvantages, these points are not fully explored or supported with specific, logical reasoning. The positive aspects are also somewhat vague; for instance, the claim that an aging population leads to a higher 'happiness index' is asserted without a clear link to the aging process itself. To improve, ensure that each main idea is supported by a clear explanation or a more detailed example to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Moreover', and 'To conclude'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as the transition 'After that governments have deal with...'. Additionally, there are instances where the flow between sentences is disjointed, and the final sentence of the essay is incomplete, which disrupts the overall coherence. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words more naturally and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, unified focus.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'Lifespan of people are surge' instead of 'lifespans are surging' and 'people who against with aging'. Some terms are used repetitively, such as 'elder people' and 'society'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to demographics and socio-economic issues, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations to ensure your writing sounds more natural and professional.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('Lifespan... are surge'), incorrect verb forms ('governments have deal with'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with spacing after commas. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the clarity of your writing. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of tense, before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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