Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 18 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an aging population creates problems for governments. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people.
To what extent do the advantages of having an aging population outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argue that long life span is the topic of debate, nowadays, people are living longer as compared to past. There are a few who think that long life span triggers issues for legislation, however, other part of the society believes that there are more benefits if the community has number of elderly people. I believes that there are more advantages of having an aging population rather than the disadvantages.
Commencing with one of the noteworthy benefits of more elderly people contributes to improve the economy of country. In other words, majority of the large firms higher youngsters for work this is because young adults have more stamina than old people . As a result, elderly people spend their large amount of time at workplace and more young people is directly proportional to the economy of country. Therefore, it will increase the country's economy.
Another fascinating benefit is aging people are more experienced than elderly people. To elaborate it, old people have long years of experience in particular company which can beneficial for youngsters to learn about different types of skills and knowledge about particular field .As a consequence, they can improve their knowledge and skill which can beneficial for their career. Hence, working with older aged people can create may benefits for society.
On the paradoxical side, it will create problems for governments. One of the predominant disadvantage is it will put negative impact on economy. To make it more clear, owing to the significant proportion of senior citizens, the law makers have to utilize large amount of funds on pensions for retired people, which will comes out from the pocket of governments. As a result, governments will not be able to take care of another pressing issues such as transportation, education, hospitals. Hence, it will negative impact on the development of country.
To conclude, unquestionably, it can be said that, having an aging population have more merits than demerit, however, the disadvantages of this trend cannot be overlooked.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. In the second paragraph, the argument regarding the economy is confusing and contradictory, as the logic linking young workers to the economy is unclear. The third paragraph contains a logical error, stating 'aging people are more experienced than elderly people,' which is redundant. While the prompt is addressed, the supporting arguments lack depth and clarity, often relying on circular reasoning. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-explained point that directly supports your thesis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'Commencing with,' 'In other words,' and 'On the paradoxical side.' However, some of these are used mechanically or inappropriately, such as 'On the paradoxical side,' which does not fit the context of introducing a counter-argument. Additionally, referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between sentences is occasionally hindered by awkward phrasing. The progression of ideas is present but could be smoother with more varied and natural linking words.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision. There are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'higher youngsters' (instead of 'hire'), 'comes out from the pocket of governments,' and 'negative impact on economy' (missing article). Some vocabulary is repetitive, and the attempt to use more sophisticated language occasionally leads to unnatural phrasing. To reach a higher band, focus on using collocations correctly and expanding your range of academic vocabulary to express complex ideas more accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('It is often argue,' 'majority of the large firms higher,' 'it will negative impact'), missing articles, and awkward sentence construction. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, pay closer attention to basic grammar rules, particularly verb forms and the correct use of articles, and proofread your work to catch these persistent slips.
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